Manny Villar insists he's really poor + more of the week's lowlights
Anna Paquin reveals she plays both teams, Manny Villar insists he's destitute, and more lowlights from the past week.
1. CATHOLICS ABSTAIN FROM RED MEAT DURING HOLY WEEK. And it's alright to keep mistresses, ask for lagay here and there and not pay your maid's wages as long as you quit eating tocino.
2. BUS TERMINALS CRITICIZED FOR LOOSE SECURITY. We imagine the bus terminal people protesting, "But there haven't been any bombings lately!"
3. MIKE ARROYO GETS TRANSFERRED FROM ICU TO REGULAR ROOM. Er, that's incredible–just how many more lives does he have left?
4. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH WARNS PUBLIC ABOUT HEALTH RISKS IN SWIMMING POOLS. Forget about drowning and infectious diseases, people secretly peeing in pools is bad enough!
5. IN THE FACE OF ACCUSATIONS THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE SUCH A TELENOVELA LIFE, MANNY VILLAR INSISTS HE'S "TUNAY NA MAHIRAP." If he claims he can bathe in a sea of garbage, then by all means, let's have him demonstrate it.
6. INDIAN PROPHET SAYS RP WILL BE SPARED FROM TSUNAMI. Read the fine print: We all have to repent for the sins committed in our country for the past 490 years to make sure the tsunami won't hit us. (Yes. We're screwed.)
7. JAIL BUREAU MAKES PRISONERS GENERATE ELECTRICITY THROUGH BIKING. And yet another reason to love Pinoy criminals.
8. ANNA PAQUIN ANNOUNCES THAT SHE'S BISEXUAL. Sorry, all circuits are still busy over the Ricky Martin revelation now...please try a better schtick later.
9. TIGER WOODS' KINDERGARTEN TEACHER REFUTES HIS RACISM STORY. Step 10 in The Sex Scandal Manual: When in need of sympathy, you can say you were abused or bullied as a child. (Attention-whore ex-teacher optional.)