Steven Seagal's sex scandal, Ampatuans get off + more lowlights

Steven Seagal gets caught, the Department of Justice lets off the Ampatuans, and more lowlights.

1.   ON-THE-WANE ACTION STAR STEVEN SEAGAL GETS SUED FOR SEX TRAFFICKING. If you keep dressing up like a pimp, you just might become one.



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2. KORINA SANCHEZ'S FORMER MAID RANTS ABOUT BEING MALTREATED…EIGHT YEARS AGO. Lady, your timing sucks.



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3. SNAKE CAUGHT INSIDE A QUEZON CITY HOUSE. Unless that damn snake can talk, stories like this shouldn't be lumped with legit news anymore.



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4. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE DISMISSES MULTIPLE MURDER CHARGES VERSUS AMPATUANS. They say Lady Justice is blind...we didn't know she had brain damage, too.


5. LEA SALONGA GUSHES OVER JOHN LLOYD CRUZ. What the heck is it about John Lloyd?!

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6. FORMER PRESIDENT JOSEPH "ERAP" ESTRADA HAS WARDROBE MALFUNCTION AT A LEYTE SORTIE. Here's living proof that ignorance is, indeed, bliss.


7. COMEDIAN WILLE NEPOMUCENO IMPERSONATES PRESIDENTIABLES. You know your country is in trouble when people wish they could elect an adorable impersonator as president.


8. MILITARY SAYS THERE WON'T BE A JUNTA IN CASE OF FAILURE OF ELECTIONS. Why does this have the same effect as a bootleg DVD vendor claiming, "Clear copy na 'yan."?


9. PRESIDENTIABLE GILBERTO "GIBO" TEODORO SLAMS TURNCOATS. When life throws you balimbings, make balimbing shake.



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10. PRESIDENTIABLE JAMBY MADRIGAL HAS NOT LET UP ON PRESIDENTIABLE MANNY VILLAR. We almost expect her to ask him, "Who's your Daddy?"

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