Acting DOJ chief Agra cries over Ampatuan case + more lowlights
Tension over the Ampatuan case drives seemingly-tough acting Department of Justice Secretary Alberto Agra to tears and more lowlights.
1. ACTING DOJ SECRETARY ALBERTO AGRA CRIES OVER AMPATUAN CASE TENSION. Unfortunately, sir, the families of the 57 Ampatuan massacre victims prefer your disbarment over your tears.
2. SENATOR CHIZ ESCUDERO ENDORSES PRESIDENTIABLE NOYNOY AQUINO–BUT NOT HIS RUNNING MATE MAR ROXAS. Will this cause trouble in the Noynoy-Mar bromance?
3. NEW SOAP FEATURES DISFIGURED HUNCHBACK HEROINE WHO'LL MOST CERTAINLY BECOME PRETTY LATER ON. Sorry...but it's so Kampanerang Kuba that it hurts.
4. FIFTY-SEVEN GHOST PRECINCTS DISCOVERED. Sadly, exorcism does not cover this sort of demonic phenomenon.
5. COMELEC IS 95% READY FOR ELECTION DAY. Because everyday is April Fools' Day in the Philippines.
6. GENERAL DANNY LIM REVEALS NAMES OF GENERALS WHO WANTED TO BRING DOWN PRESIDENT ARROYO. So we can hunt them down and ask them to explain why the heck they couldn't pull it off.
7. PRESIDENTIABLE RICHARD GORDON HATES POLL SURVEYS. Survey says: We liked you better when you were goofing around with Moymoy Palaboy.
8. JOSEPH ESTRADA AND JUAN PONCE ENRILE ACCUSE MANNY VILLAR OF INFLUENCING PHILIPPINE STOCK EXCHANGE IN HIS FAVOR. Pots calling the kettle black?
9. MISS EARTH-PHILIPPINES CANDIDATES ARE ASKED WHO THEY'LL VOTE FOR. Joseph Estrada...because recycling an ousted president is also good for the Earth. (Not!)
10. SOME CANDIDATES FOR LOCAL POSITIONS USE TUNES WITHOUT SEEKING COMPOSERS' PERMISSION. They're just honing their so-called life skills.
Image credits: Screen capture from ABS-CBN video clip.