Noynoy’s face now on a stamp, Binay causes traffic, GMA’s last days + more lowlights

Noynoy’s been "stamped," Binay’s joy is our curse, GMA’s counting the days, and more lowlights.

1. PHILIPPINE POSTAL CORPORATION HONORS PRESIDENT-ELECT NOYNOY AQUINO BY PUTTING HIS FACE ON A COMMEMORATIVE STAMP. Shouldn’t we wait until he does something truly awesome-such as wear jeans-before we stick his face on a stamp?


2. FIRST GENTLEMAN MIKE ARROYO SAYS HE HAS NO REGRETS OVER STAYING IN MALACA?'ANG PALACE FOR NINE YEARS. A nymphomaniac won’t regret being trapped in a men’s dormitory either.


3. FUGITIVE BENLEY PUA, WHO WAS ACCUSED OF BEING PART OF A KIDNAP-FOR-RANSOM GROUP, HAD HIS MOLE REMOVED SO THAT AUTHORITIES WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY HIM. (BUT, OF COURSE, THEY EASILY DID.) Congratulations, pare...you’ve really raised the bar for stupidity.


4. BOXING CHAMP MANNY PACQUIAO, CONGRESSMAN-ELECT OF SARANGANI, TAKES A CRASH COURSE ON THE NITTY-GRITTY OF GOVERNANCE. It takes months to train for a boxing match, but only 10 days to learn how to run a province for three years.


5. PHILIPPINE NATIONAL POLICE SAYS THAT BLOWING WHISTLES IS A GOOD TACTIC AGAINST CRIMINALS. Now, this is what we call one heck of a "blow job."

6. TO MARK HER LAST FEW DAYS IN OFFICE, PRESIDENT GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO BONDS WITH THE PRESS WHILE RIDING A PHILIPPINE NATIONAL RAILWAYS TRAIN. Ows? Di nga?


7. AS USUAL, THERE AREN’T ENOUGH BOOKS FOR PUBLIC SCHOOL STUDENTS. Who do we have to kill to solve this problem?


8. DUE TO A P5-MILLION MERALCO DEBT, A QUEZON CITY POLICE STATION HAS NO POWER. Go ahead, blow a whistle to drive away Meralco.


9. EXPERTS ISSUE INCESSANT WARNINGS ABOUT A MAGNITUDE 7 QUAKE THAT’LL HIT MANILA. Our SOP: We wait for dead bodies to pile up before we listen to you.


10. VICE PRESIDENT-ELECT JEJOMAR BINAY, THE OUTGOING MAKATI MAYOR, CELEBRATES HIS VICTORY AND HIS CITY’S BIG DAY BY CLOSING DOWN AYALA AVENUE, WHICH SPAWNS BAD TRAFFIC ALL OVER THE METRO. Please, stop inflicting your happiness on everyone else.


Art by Warren Espejo.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Tell us your #feels!

Win
Yum
LOL
WTF
0
Total votes
View more stories tagged ""

Read more stories about

Comments

Latest Stories

Load More Stories

SUBSCRIBE TO NEWSLETTER

Get the latest updates right in your inbox!