James Yap was a no-show + more lowlights at President Noynoy Aquino’s inauguration

James Yap didn’t show up and more lowlights of President Noynoy’s variety show, er, inaugural.

1. PRESIDENT BENIGNO SIMEON "NOYNOY" AQUINO III REFERS TO BEING PRESIDENT AS HIS "KALBARYO." We know at least eight people who would gladly and readily trade places with you.


2. PINOYS PIN THEIR HOPES ON P-NOY TO MAKE THE COUNTRY GREAT AGAIN. In case you people are getting confused, he can’t walk on water or turn it into wine.


3. PRESIDENTIAL GIRLFRIEND SHALANI SOLEDAD STAYS IN THE SIDELINES, DOESN’T EVEN GET TO RIDE THE AQUINO FAMILY BUS. Yeah, we get the low profile thing, but this is getting to be a bit too telenovela already.


4. THERE WERE WAY TOO MANY SONG NUMBERS. It was a joint ASAP XV and Party Pilipinas show. (But we didn’t mind Noel Cabangon’s accidental mini concert!)


5. CHARICE PEMPENGCO SINGS THE "LUPANG HINIRANG" AND KILLS IT-BUT HER DRESS KILLS HER. Great singing...but the yellow-and-black beribboned number made her look like one of the seven little friends of Snow White dressed in her clothes.

6. BASKETBALL PLAYER JAMES YAP, KRIS AQUINO’S NOW-ESTRANGED HUSBAND, STEALS THE SHOW BY NOT BEING THERE. Maybe he really is smarter than we all think.


7. EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT SENATOR MAR ROXAS, THE MAN WHO GAVE UP HIS PRESIDENTIAL BID TO GIVE WAY TO PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO AND LOST HIS "I’LL SETTLE FOR VICE PRESIDENT" BID. The man deserves a medal, a monument, and a national holiday.


8. FORMER PRESIDENT GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO DOESN’T TAKE PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO’S HAND. Passive-aggressive much?


9. VICE PRESIDENT JEJOMAR BINAY MOTORS TO QUIRINO GRANDSTAND IN A BATTERY-OPERATED B-JEEP. An attempt to upstage The Kris and James Show? Sorry, dark horse, you lose this race.


noynoy-aquino-effigy

10. A PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO EFFIGY PUZZLES THE WHOLE NATION. In what twisted universe does this ugly creation look like Noynoy Aquino? (Even the colors are wrong, damn it!)



Art by Warren Espejo and Noynoy Aquino effigy photo by Jose Santos P. Ardivilla.

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