P-Noy serenades reporters hours before Basyang hit + more lowlights

P-Noy’s singing summons Basyang, Vicki takes back Hayden, Wowowee might take back Willie, and more lowlights.

1. CAGER JAMES YAP SAYS HE MISSES HIS FAMILY, TELLS THE PUBLIC, "IPAG-PRAY N’YO NA LANG KAMI NA SANA MAGKAAYOS PA...OR SOMETHING." Sure, we’ll pray for you...or something.

 

2. FORMER LINGAYEN ARCHBISHOP OSCAR CRUZ REVEALS NUMBER OF JUETENG LORDS HAVE INCREASED FROM 14 TO 30, POINTS OUT THAT SOME LOCAL GOV’T OFFICIALS GET INTO THE GAME. When God said, "Go forth and multiply," we’re pretty sure He didn’t mean this.

 

3. THERE ARE RUMORS GOING AROUND THAT WILLIE REVILLAME IS GOING BACK TO WOWOWEE. As the late American stand-up comic George Carlin said, "If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."

 

4. PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO SERENADES THE MALACANANG PRESS CORPS A FEW HOURS BEFORE TYPHOON BASYANG HITS MANILA. Are we all thinking the same thing?

 

5. IT WASN’T ANYTHING LIKE MILENYO OR ONDOY, BUT TYPHOON BASYANG WREAKED SO MUCH HAVOC ON METRO MANILA. It’s either we’re cursed or almost everything around us is substandard.

6. DR. VICKI BELO ADMITS THAT SHE’S BACK WITH DR. HAYDEN KHO. Dr.Belo, listen to Dr. Einstein: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."


 

7. AFTER JUSTIN BIEBER BECOMES HIS TWITTER FOLLOWER, KC MONTERO HAS TO BE "CASSANDRA MONTEROID" FOR A WEEK. He looks somewhat cute...but why do we disrespect the art of drag so much?

 

8. ACTOR MEL GIBSON’S ALLEGED RACIST RANT TO RUSSIAN EX-GIRLFRIEND OKSANA GRIGORIEVA GOES VIRAL. He’s now the best argument for dying young.

 

9. CONGRESSWOMAN LUCY TORRES-GOMEZ OF THE FOURTH DISTRICT OF LEYTE FACES TWO DISQUALIFICATION CHARGES. As the song goes, "Everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room."

 

10. PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO SLAMS PAGASA FOR INACCURATE AND DELAYED REPORTS ABOUT TYPHOON BASYANG. "Sorry sir, we can’t help but screw up since we’re using equipment that’s as ancient as your song selections."

 

 

 

Art by Warren Espejo.

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