Mystica now a motivational speaker, Mayweather’s dad calls Pacman "little midget"

Mystica’s now singing a new tune, Mayweather daddy slams Manny, and more lowlights.

 

 

1. SEMI-RETIRED ACTRESS ALMA MORENO, 51, ENGAGES IN A DANCE SHOWDOWN AGAINST DAUGHTER WYNWYN MARQUEZ, 18, IN GMA-7’s PARTY PILIPINAS. There’s nostalgia--and there’s "How much do we have to pay you so you won’t embarrass yourself?"

 

2. AMERICA ONLINE NEWS ARTICLE’S RACY TITLE CAUSES WORLDWIDE LAUGHTER--BUT THE PLIGHT OF ABUSED ROOSTERS IS FORGOTTEN. It looks like those cocks will keep on kicking their balls.

 

3. FORMER SEXY SINGER MYSTICA--KNOWN FOR HER SPLITS AND PROVOCATIVE ANTICS--IS NOW A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER. If she does splits while dishing out advice, we’re willing to stop telling people she drank agua oxinada to get that hair color.

 

4. TO PROMOTE PARASAILING, A LEISURE FIRM IN SOUTHERN RUSSIA SHOWS A DONKEY DOING IT. Sorry, PETA, we couldn’t help but laugh our asses off...so to speak.

 

 

5. JOEY MARQUEZ REVIVES HIS SHOWBIZ CAREER VIA KAYA NG POWERS, A SITCOM WHOSE PREMISE IS SOMEWHAT SIMILAR TO THE INCREDIBLES’. Er, what’s there to revive? (Please, don’t say, "His relationship with Kris Aquino.")

6. DR. VICKI BELO INJECTS BOTOX INTO CHARICE PEMPENGCO’S FACE, TO MAKE HER "NATURALLY ROUND" FACE "NARROWER" FOR GLEE. That’s right, doc, get ’em hooked early.

 

7. FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. SNUBS MANNY PACQUIAO ANEW, WHILE HIS FATHER FLOYD SR. CALLS PACMAN A "LITTLE FILIPINO MIDGET." Who knew that being racist could be ironic, too.

 

8. PAGCOR GETS SLAMMED FOR ALLEGEDLY SPENDING P21 MILLION ON HAMBURGERS SUPPOSEDLY FED TO COPS. A whole lot of super-sized B.S.?

 

9. EIGHTEEN FRATMEN RUN NAKED IN PALAWAN TO SUPPORT THE MINING BAN IMPLEMENTED THERE. Because people won’t hate you for screwing up traffic if you’re exposing yourself.

 

10. PEOPLE LINING UP FOR WATER RATIONS TURN HOSTILE--WHAT WITH MANY JUMPING THE QUEUE. News like this makes us so proud to be Pinoy.

 

 

 

Art by Warren Espejo and screenshot from America Online News.

Tell us your #feels!

Win
Yum
LOL
WTF
0
Total votes
View more stories tagged ""

Read more stories about

Comments

Latest Stories

Load More Stories

SUBSCRIBE TO NEWSLETTER

Get the latest updates right in your inbox!