1. LIGOT, GARCIA, AND THEIR WIVES GET CHARGED FOR TAX EVASION. Put them all in one jail cell and you have yourself a damn good reality show.
2. OMBUDSMAN MERCEDITAS GUTIERREZ HOLDS FAST DESPITE CALLS FOR HER RESIGNATION. Gloria, is that you?
3. MEMBERS OF CONGRESS UNDERGO DRUG TESTS TO PROVE THEY’RE NOT JUNKIES. But holding up your urine samples for the camera is a little bit too much. (It may have pissed off a lot of people.)
4. P-NOY TAKES THE STAIRS (20 FLIGHTS) IN SINGAPORE. Now if he can walk on water, turn water into gas, and cast out demons then the Philippines will be great again.
5. JOHN LAPUS SUES JOBERT SUCALDITO FOR LIBEL. Brewing battle royale or just another lukewarm libel tiff?
6. FORMER CONGRESSMAN RONALD SINGSON’S HONG KONG PRISON REPORTEDLY LOCATED IN A "TOURIST SPOT." For the life of us, we really can’t feel sorry for this man.
7. A YOUNG GIRL CRIES OVER THE "DEATH" OF A MARA CLARA CHARACTER. She’s crying because of the overused plot line. (Mara is alive, kid.)
8. RHIAN RAMOS DENIES RUMORS THAT AZKALS’ PHIL YOUNGHUSBAND COURTED HER. We assume she’s already checked her Twitter page.
9. LITTLE GIRL IN ANTIQUE CAN ALLEGEDLY START FIRES JUST BY SAYING, "SUNOG." Hopefully, she’ll take up culinary arts when she grows up.
10. BOXER NONITO DONAIRE JR. SLAMS HIS FAMILY AND THE PRESS. Careful, champ, you’re not yet Manny Pacquiao.
Artwork by Warren Espejo, Mara Clara poster from ABS-CBN