1. MARIAN RIVERA AND HEART EVANGELISTA DENY RUMORS THEY ARE FIGHTING. When there’s smoke, there’s a catfight that’s just heating up.
2. UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES TUITION IS NOW SO EXPENSIVE, SOME QUALIFIED FRESHMEN NEED SPONSORS. Suddenly, the school’s hymn, "U.P. Naming Mahal," takes on a different meaning.
3. GECKOS ARE BEING SOLD AS A CURE FOR AIDS. We don’t want this idea to stick.
4. STUDY CLAIMS CELLPHONE USE MAY CAUSE CANCER. Let’s all start writing our obituaries.
5. SOME PINOY SMOKERS STILL DO THEIR THING IN PUBLIC AREAS. We’re all for freedom, but not when you’re spreading secondhand death.
6. SEN. MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO GOES BALLISTIC AT A COMMISSION ON APPOINTMENTS HEARING, CALLS OUT A MAN FOR HIS "INCOMPREHENSIBLE ENGLISH." Someone ought to manufacture Team Miriam shirts. (Psychedelic colors, please.)
7. SOME SCHOOLS MAKE THEIR STUDENTS PAY A "SPIRITUAL FEE" AND A "CULTURAL FEE." Otherwise known as money for floor wax.
8. GERMAN "KUYA GERMS" MORENO IS THE LATEST "DEATH HOAX" VICTIM. Everyone knows that Kuya Germs is immortal.
9. DINGDONG DANTES SAYS HE’S STILL GETTING USED TO HIS "NEW LOOK." Dude, you just shaved...what’s the big deal?
10. GOSSIP GIRL STAR ED WESTWICK IS IN MANILA, SAYS HE WISHED HE WOULD RUN INTO MANNY PACQUIAO AT THE AIRPORT. So you can listen to his anti-condom spiel in person?
Art by Warren Espejo