We Asked, The Lourd Answered

Our SPOT.ph blogger Lourd de Veyra on his new book, feisty fans, dream wedding scenario, and more.


 

We grilled SPOT.ph satirist Lourd de Veyra on his blog-turned-book, what it’s like to have feisty fans, his all-time favorite Pinoy love team, and more crazy queries:

 

Do you ever read the comments to your blog posts on SPOT.ph? Do you reply?

I used to. Until I began reading hurtful tirades against my hairline and oily nose. Do I reply? Never. But allow me this opportunity: Mutherfuckers.


Who is your dream interviewee?

Juan Ponce Enrile. God only knows the endlessly dark libraries of secrets in that man's head. But I'm pretty sure he won't talk about the stuff I truly want to know. Unless it's by his deathbed and he suddenly begins speaking in tongues.


Please share three things that are on your bucket list.

Beat someone to a bloody pulp in a mixed-martial arts ring. Eat at French Laundry with Thomas Keller personally annotating each dish. Write and conduct a symphony. If possible, on acid.

 

Would you ever get married? Who would you want as your ninong and ninang?

Of course, I would want to get married. But I want the reception in a Chinese restaurant, so that I can witness strangers sharing the same table and the awkwardness of two diners trying to turn the lazy Susan at the same time. Ninong: Preferably some warlord from the North. Ninang? Marlene
Aguilar Ivler. So she can pay for my, uhm, basic needs.

 

If you found yourself reincarnated after this life, what would you  want to do in your next one?

A porn movie director. Or a Burmese general.

 

If you could request one thing from the government (and it would actually be carried out), what would it be?

A well-stocked library in each barangay. And the total banning of videoke and all Lady Gaga songs.

 

What title would you give the movie version of your life story?

Sa Haba ng Tulay, Nagalit ang Pilay: The Lourd de Veyra Story.

 

Name your all-time favorite Pinoy love team.
Rey PJ Abellana and Leni Santos.

 

What do you like to sing on KTV?
"The Times of Your Life" by Paul Anka.

 

What do you love best about what you do?
It's never having to say, "I'm sorry."

 

Also read: SPOT.ph’s Man of the Hour: Lourd de Veyra

Check out photos from the This is a Crazy Planets book launch here.

 

This is a Crazy Planets is available in newsstands, bookstores and supermarkets nationwide for only P195. For more information, click here.

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Artwork by Warren Espejo

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