Nora Aunor is a no-show, P-Noy’s economics + more lowlights

Plus, Manny Pacquiao’s new game show, Ruffa Gutierrez’s ex Yilmaz Bektas is back, JLo and Marc Anthony break up + more lowlights.



1. VIRGILIO "HELLO GARCI" GARCILLANO INSISTS HE WAS NOT INVOLVED IN POLL FRAUD. Ever thought of coming up with "Hello Garci" stuffed toys, stationeries, stickers, and bags? (That’s right, Hello Kitty, you’d better be scared.)



2. EMBATTLED FORMER ELECTION SUPERVISOR LINTANG BEDOL TURNS UP AFTER FOUR YEARS OF BEING A FUGITIVE. Fashion tip to fugitives: Plaid projects innocence but dark glasses say, "I’m a leech!"


3. SUSPENDED ARMM GOVERNOR ZALDY AMPATUAN NAMES POLL FRAUD CULPRITS. When a massacre suspect is your best bet, you’re screwed any which way you look at it.



4. J.LO AND MARC ANTHONY BREAK UP AFTER SEVEN YEARS. Because no one leaves Dayanara Torres and gets away with it.

5. P-NOY TALKS ABOUT ECONOMICS. This video is now known as the "Best Cure for Insomnia."



6. RUFFA GUTIERREZ’S EX, YILMAZ BEKTAS, IS BACK ON THE SCENE. He’s probably the only man alive who’s not afraid of Annabelle Rama-maybe because whatever she says to him is lost in translation...

7. EUGENE DOMINGO, STAR OF CINEMALAYA’S ANG BABAE SA SEPTIC TANK, FALLS INTO A SEPTIC TANK. Sometimes life imitates art in the worst way possible.



8. AMAYA REPORTEDLY USED AS A "TEACHING AID." Apparently, Marian Rivera is a boring teacher’s best friend.


9. NORA AUNOR FAILS TO COME HOME...AGAIN. Her mole was booked on a different flight and she had to go after it.



10. MANNY PACQUIAO HAS A GAME SHOW WHERE HE WILL ALLEGEDLY GIVE AWAY SOME OF HIS OWN MONEY. Pacman, you’re already Manny Pacquiao, why the hell do you want to be Willie Revillame?


Art by Warren Espejo

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