Gloria Arroyo posts bail, P-Noy’s SONA rehash + more lowlights

Plus, Kris Aquino’s "fortune," Chiz Escudero’s <em>Big Brother</em> dreams, and more nutty tales.

 

1. AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 11 RUNNER-UP JESSICA SANCHEZ REVEALS THAT SHE AND ANOTHER FORMER CONTESTANT, DEANDRE BRACKENSICK, ARE AN ITEM. Ahhhh, young love...it starts out so sweet.

 

2. STARLET-TURNED-POLITICIAN ANGELICA JONES REVEALS THAT SHE’S HAVING A BABY BOY AND THAT THE BABY-DADDY IS A DOCTOR WHO’S ALSO A COUNCILOR OF SAN JOSE, BATANGAS. So, she gets air time because she got knocked up?

 

3. IN HIS THIRD SONA, WHICH HE DELIVERED ON JULY 23, P-NOY PROMISED A LOT OF GOOD THINGS AND REITERATES THAT CORRUPT OFFICIALS WILL BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE. Strike three and you’re out.

 

4. FORMER PRESIDENT AND CURRENT PAMPANGA REP. GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO POSTS ₱1-MILLION BAIL AND GETS TO GO HOME AFTER EIGHT MONTHS OF BEING DETAINED AT THE VETERANS MEMORIAL MEDICAL CENTER. Great...it had to happen just three days after P-Noy’s oh-so-positive SONA.

 

5. KRIS AQUINO REVEALS THAT SHE CONSULTED A THAI FORTUNE-TELLER WHO TOLD HER SHE’D HAVE A FOREIGNER-BOYFRIEND BY DECEMBER 10, 2012 AND THAT SHE’D GET HITCHED TO THE GUY ON APRIL 25, 2013. Admittedly, this disclosure is more exciting to us than her kuya’s SONA. (We’re very shallow that way.)

6. IT’S REVEALED THAT CHIZ ESCUDERO ALMOST JOINED PINOY BIG BROTHER: CELEBRITY EDITION IN 2006. He didn’t go through with it because his heart wasn’t in it.

 

7. THE MON TULFO VS. CLAUDINE BARRETTO AND RAYMART SANTIAGO CASE RAGES ON AND IT’S ALWAYS TENSE DURING COURT ENCOUNTERS. If somebody’s relying on this to heat up their careers, they better pick another fight ASAP because this issue is officially not that hot anymore.

 

8. BOXER-POLITICIAN MANNY PACQUIAO IS NAMED THE "PEACE-BUILDING PRESIDENT" OF THE ROTARY CLUB OF MANILA 101. And here we thought you can’t talk peace if you make a living using your fists.

 

9. THE UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES IS BUILDING ANOTHER CAMPUS IN BONIFACIO GLOBAL CITY. This is supposed to be a good thing but there something heartbreaking about it, too.

 

10. ANOTHER BABY FOUND IN A GARBAGE DUMP, THIS TIME IN QUEZON CITY. Hunt down the people responsible for this and sterilize them before they conceive again and dump yet another innocent child.

 

Art by War Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph.

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