Tito Sotto keeps talking, Rolito Go gets busted + more lowlights

Plus, Annabelle Rama chugs shampoo, Freddie Aguilar’s broken vault, and other nutty tales.

 

 

1. SENATOR TITO SOTTO WHINES THAT HE’S A VICTIM OF CYBERBULLYING AND POINTS OUT THAT PLAGIARISM IS NOT A CRIME IN THE PHILIPPINES. Unfortunately, stupidity isn’t a crime either.

 

 

2. ENLISTED PERSONNEL OF THE ARMED FORCES OF THE PHILIPPINES REPORT THAT SOME OF THEIR THINGS WERE STOLEN FROM THEIR BARRACKS IN CAMP AGUINALDO-AND IT’S NOT THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED. If in-your-face robbery can happen on AFP turf, then we’re all screwed.

 

 

3. A ROBBERY GROUP IS ARRESTED AND ONE OF ITS LEADERS IS ALLEGEDLY A RETIRED SARGEANT OF THE PHILIPPINE ARMY. That’s a hell of a way to retire, sir.

 

 

4. MUSICIAN FREDDIE AGUILAR LOSES ₱500,000 FROM HIS BEDROOM VAULT IN WHAT THE POLICE CALL AN "INSIDE JOB" ROBBERY, BUT HE INSISTS HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW THE COMBINATION. Well, apparently not.

 

 

5. AGA MUHLACH, WHO’S RUNNING FOR CAMARINES SUR CONGRESSMAN IN 2013, REPORTEDLY DECLARED THAT HE KNOWS A LOT MORE THAN MANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY IN CONGRESS. Question: "What’s worse than an actor with political plans putting his foot in his mouth?" Answer: "The fact that the actor may be right."

 

6. IMPEACHED CHIEF JUSTICE RENATO CORONA GETS HIT WITH TAX EVASION CHARGES BY THE BUREAU OF INTERNAL REVENUE. And just when he thought his ordeal was over...

 

 

7. NEWLY-INSTALLED CHIEF JUSTICE MA. LOURDES SERENO GETS NO "HONEYMOON PERIOD" AS HACIENDA LUISITA FARMERS STAGE PROTESTS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN SETTLE IN. Strap yourself in ma’am-this daang matuwid ride can get pretty nasty.

 

 

 

8. ANNABELLE RAMA REVEALS SHE WAS ONCE SO DESPERATELY IN LOVE WITH EDDIE GUTIERREZ THAT SHE SOUGHT TO END THE PAIN BY ATTEMPTING TO COMMIT SUICIDE...BY DRINKING SHAMPOO. She’s still alive and her innards are all soft and silky now.

 

 

9. A WITNESS SAYS CONVICTED ROAD RAGE KILLER ROLITO GO WASN’T "KIDNAPPED" FROM PRISON BECAUSE HE WAS REALLY GAMBLING IN A CASINO IN PAMPANGA. How come this doesn’t surprise us anymore?

 

 

 

10. MIKEY ARROYO’S PARTY-LIST ANG GALING PINOY PINOY (AGP), WHICH REPRESENTS SECURITY GUARDS AND TRICYCLE DRIVERS, MAY GET DISQUALIFIED. We don’t even know why it was approved in the first place.

 

 

Art by Warren Espejo, with screenshots from various video clips.

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