Tito Sotto rips off a Kennedy, Taylor Swift’s latest musical drama + more lowlights

Plus, the Chiz Escudero-Heart Evangelista non-relationship, and more nutty tales.

 

1. THE THIRD INSTALLMENT SENATOR TITO SOTTO’S TURNO EN CONTRA SPEECH CONTAINS A HUGE TRANSLATED-TO-FILIPINO CHUNK OF THE LATE U.S. SENATOR ROBERT KENNEDY’S 1966 SPEECH-AND SOTTO’S SAYING HE DIDN’T COPY IT, HE ONLY UNKNOWINGLY TRANSLATED IT. If Albert Einstein were alive today, he would say, "Only two things are infinite-the universe and (insert you-know-who’s name here) stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former." (For the record, this is a hypothetical version of an Einstein quote. Please note that only the slighltly altered quote is hypothetical. The stupidity is 100% real.)

 

 

2. ACCORDING TO A RAPPLER.COM REPORT, WHEN ASKED ABOUT SEN. TITO SOTTO’S PLAGIARISM, SEN. BONGBONG MARCOS SAID: "I DON’T THINK IT’S AN ISSUE THAT SHOULD CONCERN THE SENATE TOO MUCH. SOME PHRASES THAT HAVE BEEN COINED BY SOME SPEAKERS HAVE ENTERED THE GENERAL LEXICON OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. THEY NO LONGER NEED TO BE ATTRIBUTED BECAUSE THEY BELONG TO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND NOT TO ONE PERSON ALONE." We’ve filed this under "We Elected These Clowns."

 

 

3. ACCORDING TO AN ABS-CBNNEWS.COM REPORT, ANOTHER U.S. BLOGGER NAMED JANICE FORMICHELLA FOUND OUT THAT A POST SHE WROTE TWO YEARS AGO WAS "SOTTOFIED." We would like to assure you that not all Filipinos are like him.

 

 

4. SINGER TAYLOR SWIFT IS DATING CONOR KENNEDY AND IF THEY BREAK UP (AS PER HER SOP) WE’LL KNOW HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN THROUGH A SONG. FYI: The guy is the grandson of the man whose 1966 speech was "Sottofied."

 

 

5. TAYLOR SWIFT’S "WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER" IS REPORTEDLY ABOUT JAKE GYLLENHAAL. Well, at least she’s not plagiarizing anyone. (Conor Kennedy, don’t say you weren’t warned.)

Screenshot of composite file photo posted on ABS-CBNNews.com

6. ACCORDING TO AN ABS-CBNNEWS.COM REPORT, KRIS AQUINO JOKES ABOUT MARRYING JAPANESE BILLIONAIRE KAZUO OKADA, ONE OF THE INVESTORS IN PAGCOR’S ENTERTAINMENT CITY. It’s nice to see her finally moving on. (Then again, she’s always moving on.)

 

 

7. ACTRESS HEART EVANGELISTA ADMITS SHE’S BEEN SEEING SEN. CHIZ ESCUDERO "A LOT LATELY" BUT SAYS THEY’RE NOT AN ITEM. Actions speak louder than words, sweetheart.

 

 

8. TWO QUEZON CITY POLICE OFFICERS-SENIOR POLICE OFFICER 4 JOSE DELA PENA AND PO2 RESTY DEL ROSARIO-ARE BUSTED AFTER THEY ATTEMPT TO EXTORT MONEY FROM A YOUNG MAN WHO TURNS OUT TO BE INCOMING NCR POLICE CHIEF LEONARDO ESPINA’S SON. Karma is a bitch, boys. (Then again we have to ask: What happens to you if your dad isn’t the NCR police chief?)

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9. THE BUREAU OF FIRE PROTECTION STILL DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH EQUIPMENT, AS FIREFIGHTERS "SHARE" THEIR BREATHING APPARATUS. In this country, you need a calamity with at least a three-digit body count before anything gets done.

 

 

10. THE RH BILL SMACKDOWNS CONTINUE IN THE SENATE. We’ve already waited 14 years for this thing...and sometimes it looks like we’ll wait for 14 more.

 

Art by Warren Espejo

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