The tale of two Rico Punos, Manong Johnny’s not that happy + more lowlights

1. DILG UNDERSECRETARY RICO PUNO FORMALLY RESIGNS FROM HIS POST AFTER SO MANY REPORTS ALREADY SAID HE WAS OUT OF THE AGENCY. When they said "The shit hit the fan," this was what they meant. (This also explains why something still stinks about this mess.)

2. PINOY POP MUSIC ICON RICO J. PUNO SAYS BEING MISTAKEN FOR FORMER DILG UNDERSECRETARY RICO PUNO WAS FUNNY AT FIRST, BUT THEN IT GOT SCARY. How dumb do you have to be to think that this cool dude is the other one? (Google it, for God’s sake.)

3. P-NOY SAYS HE WAS THE ONE WHO AUTHORIZED FORMER DILG UNDERSECRETARY RICO PUNO TO SECURE THE PAPERS OF THE LATE DILG SECRETARY JESSE ROBREDO AND EVEN JUSTIFIES PUNO’S ATTEMPT TO GET INSIDE ROBREDO’S CONDO. What’s that smell? (See No. 1.)

4.THE HEIDI KLUM-SEAL SPLIT GETS UGLY, AS KLUM ADMITS THAT SHE’S NOW DATING HER BODYGUARD. It’s "Auf weidersehen" for good to you, Seal.

5. SENATOR JUAN PONCE ENRILE REVEALS THAT THERE WAS A PLOT TO OUST HIM AS SENATE PRESIDENT. Looks like not everyone is happy, Manong Johnny.

6. PSY TEACHES BRITNEY SPEARS TO DANCE "GANGNAM STYLE" ON THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW. Sir, you had us at, "Bounce like you’re riding an invisible horse buggy."

7. SENATOR CHIZ ESCUDERO AND HEART EVANGELISTA CONTINUE TO PLAY COY ABOUT THEIR NOT-YET-A-RELATIONSHIP STATUS. That’s right, make the media mileage last until the 2013 elections.

8. HEALTH ADVOCATES CONTINUE TO ASK P-NOY TO QUIT SMOKING. Good luck with that impossible dream.

9. RUMOR HAS IT THAT ROBERT PATTINSON IS CONSIDERING TAKING BACK KRISTEN STEWART. To each his own poison, folks.

10. THE MMDA ROUNDS UP "BATANG HAMOG" KIDS AND VAGRANTS TO GET THEM OFF THE STREETS. We all know they’ll be back because the Pinoy Christmas season is on!

Art by Warren Espejo