
1. AGA MUHLACH AND CHARLENE GONZALES’ NAMES HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE LIST OF REGISTERED VOTERS IN SAN JOSE, CAMARINES SUR AFTER IT WAS ALLEGED THAT THEY DIDN’T MEET THE RESIDENCY REQUIREMENT. In Philippine politics, it’s considered flattery when there’s an attempt to take you out of the game early on. (The more they’re afraid of you, the more mud they’ll throw your way.)
3. A UNIVERSITY IN CAGAYAN DE ORO CITY HOLDS MOCK U.S. ELECTIONS. See No. 2. (How about reenacting the Ampatuan massacre so everyone will be reminded that the case still isn’t closed?)
4. ROBIN PADILLA SAYS HE WISHES HIS BROTHER RUSTOM PADILLA, WHO NOW CALLS HIMSELF BB GANDANGHARI, WOULD STOP CROSS-DRESSING. We doubt if your opinion still matters to someone who outed himself while a woman was peeing right beside him in a reality show.
5. SENATOR JINGGOY ESTRADA AND HIS HALF-BROTHER REP. JV EJERCITO ENGAGE IN A WORD WAR. They’re just trying to top the Anne Curtis-Andi Eigenmann verbal smackdown scenes in A Secret Affair.
6. THREE U.S. BLOGGERS ARE GOING AFTER SEN. TITO SOTTO FOR PLAGIARIZING THEIR POSTS. Welcome back to the Hit Least, Senator, we missed you so much.
7. FORMER COMELEC CHAIRMAN BENJAMIN ABALOS, WHO’S FACING ELECTION SABOTAGE CHARGES, WAS PREVENTED BY THE PASAY CITY REGIONAL TRIAL COURT FROM LEAVING FOR TAIWAN, WHERE HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO SCOUT FOR A SUPPLY OF BANGUS FRY FOR HIS FAMILY’S LIVELIHOOD. Doesn’t he still have Ben’s Burjer in Mandaluyong City?
8. SHARON CUNETA ENGAGES IN YET ANOTHER TWITTER WAR WITH HER HATERS, WHO SHE CLAIMS ARE FANS OF PIOLO PASCUAL, HER DAUGHTER KC CONCEPCION’S EX. Well, it seems like this star’s light has gone out. (Literally: Bituing Walang Ningning.)
9. AROUND 30 PIGS IN A BULACAN PIGGERY ARE KILLED IN A FIRE. (Insert inappropriate lechon jokes here.)
10. GMA PUBLICIZES DINGDONG DANTES AND LORNA TOLENTINO’S LOVE SCENE IN THEIR UPCOMING SOAP, PAHIRAM NG SANDALI. Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe how we feel.
Art by Warren Espejo