The SPOT.ph PDA-O-Meter

It’s the time of the year when everyone gets sappy. When are you just kissing...and when are you crossing the line?

 

(SPOT.ph) If your love is so great that you just have to share it with the whole world-whether they like it or not-then congratulations, you have entered the awkward territory of PDA-dom. Because everyone deserves to know how much you care for each other: your drunk friends, your indulgent siblings, your disapproving parents, manong guard, aling yosi, yung naglalako ng balut diyan sa kanto, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

 

For those who don’t give a whit about what others think of their anywhere-slash-anytime kissing, no problem, then, and more power to you. As in all things, public displays of romance aren’t inherently bad. It’s just a matter of right place, right time. If you want to err on the safe side but still want to show off your love like the hard-won trophy it is, we’ve cooked up this PDA-o-meter as a guide for appropriate exhibitions of unbridled loving.

 

 

 

To non-dogs: please don’t try this

 

RESTAURANT, ON A DATE

The Situation: You are in the middle of a sea of diners. Most likely, all of them are strangers. You want to go beyond secret footsie.

Sweet niyo naman

While it may be difficult to pull off when the dishes have already been served, holding hands across the table while waiting will elicit some warm smiles.

Sige na nga, pagbigyan

A peck on the cheek when your partner pays for the bill is okay. A quick smooch on the lips, too? Well, why not?

Pang-motel billboard na kayo

You’re not just sitting on the same side of a table anymore. You’re actually sitting together in the same chair. Worse if the girl is sitting on the lap of the guy, while the guy is feeding her.

 

 

 

Restobar PDAs make surprisingly effective statements, as Emma Stone demonstrates

 

RESTAURANT/BAR, WITH THE BARKADA

The Situation: You are hanging out with friends, fries, and maybe a beer or two. How far can you go with that company beside you?

Sweet niyo naman

You are sharing the same side of the table, doing the akbay thing. Sometimes, the girl will lean her head on the guy’s shoulder. Double "d’aaaawwww!" if it’s the other way around.

Sige na nga, pagbigyan

Since you’re all friends at that table (and so we hope-please keep maniacally jealous and borderline homicidal exes out of the picture), you could get away with very brief necking and pawing. Remember, the operative word is ’brief.’

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Pang-motel billboard na kayo

Nothing derails a good conversation better than a couple who suddenly starts macking in front of assorted company. Insert awkward sound effects here: schlep, slurp, slurp.

 

 

 

 

This is what happens if you PDA with the wrong person in a mall

 

AT THE MALL

The Situation: You and your S.O. are hitting the malls like the cool cats that you are, all hot and sweaty from dodging the foot traffic. Is it possible to turn up the heat a little more?

Sweet niyo naman

Love is a four-letter word, and it’s spelled HHWW, or, "Holdings Hands While Walking." Another sign of love? When the guy waits for hours in the "boyfriend chairs" while the girl shops for shoes.

Sige na nga, pagbigyan

Instead of just holding hands, the guy goes into akbay mode and slides his hand down the girl’s arm, and occasionally rubs and squeezes it vigorously, like an Alpine rescuer working on a frozen limb. This conjoined pair will now proceed to block escalators.

Pang-motel billboard na kayo

The boy starts carrying the girl’s bag. As in, her handbag. Dude, your misplaced chivalry is in danger of also making you look like a total queen. And don’t get us started on guys who insist on walking, carrying their GF’s bag, and smooching her, all at the same time.

 

 

Let Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman show you how it’s done

 

IN THE CLUB

The Situation: The bodies are moving, the drink is free-flowing, and the beat has got it going on. But how far can you really go with in-club canoodling?

Sweet niyo naman

When both club BPM (beats per minute) and personal BPM (booze per minute) have reached critical level, grinding-or rather, barely-disguised humping-becomes almost unnoticeable in the crush of the crowd.

Sige na nga, pagbigyan

Making out in the middle of the dance floor can actually get you drunken cheers in some quarters. Swoop in for the hot and heavy kiss, then bask in the approval after.

Pang-motel billboard na kayo

In a club, this category does not exist. Go as far as you can go without actually taking most of your clothes off.

 

 

In-office canoodling, you say?

 

AT THE OFFICE

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The Situation: Inter-office romances are quite common, but it doesn’t make them any less dicey. Keep both your romance and your job by sticking to boundaries. And please, no physical contact.

Sweet niyo naman

Occasionally, you have lunch together, just the two of you. Sometimes, you will join your respective teammates for a lunch out. When it’s time to go home, you time-out and take the elevators together.

Sige na nga, pagbigyan

You will have lunches together all the time. In fact, you even have merienda together. Unless mealtimes are working lunches, you two are nearly inseparable during official break hours.

Pang-motel billboard na kayo

During work hours, you’re always hovering around your partner’s cubicle, twiddling your fingers in petiks mode until break time comes along so that you can spend even more time together. When walking in the hallways (preferably in front of your boss), you make it a point to hold hands. Hey, good luck with the job-hunting!

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