Winners & Losers of the Week: Erap, Renaldo Balkman + others

Who scored and who missed this week

 

(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark.

 

 

WINNER: Pope Francis, for being elected as the first ever Jesuit pontiff. (Good luck on handling the headaches of the Church, Holy Papa.)

 

 

WINNERS: Sir Chief (Richard Yap) and Maya (Jodi Sta. Maria) for generating so much buzz with their on-screen kiss on Be Careful With My Heart. (Overheard: "Magkamatayan man sa Sabah, may bago mang Santo Papa...’di bale na basta maghalikan na si Sir Chief at Maya.")

 

 

WINNER: Lorna Tolentino , for saying, "Naubos ang stem cell ko dahil sa Pahiram Ng Sandali!" (You’re in luck, we have four extra jars of stem cells. Come and get it.)

 

 

WINNER: BB Gandanghari, for starring in the play Halik ng Tarantula and revealing she now has a boyfriend. (It’s liberating to live a life out of the closet, isn’t it?)

 

 

WINNER: Erap Estrada, for turning a debate against Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim into the circus that we expected it to be. (In Philippine elections, showmanship is everything!)

 

LOSER: Christine Bersola-Babao, for writing "Being Gay" and thinking it’s all good. (It’s not.)

 

 

LOSER: Kris Humphries, for attempting to use fraud as a reason for seeking to annul his marriage to Kim Kardashian...but then a report surfaced that he was in on the whole "wedding-for-television" scheme. (How can anyone keep up with this?)

 

 

LOSERS: Hayden Kho, Jr., for revealing that he’s taking it slow with Dr. Vicki Belo. (Haven’t you caused that woman a whole lot of pain already?)

 

 

LOSER: Senate hopeful Greco Belgica, for using an adjective that’s no longer politically correct in urging Pinoys to fight for Sabah. (Pssst...you only piss off people after you get elected.)

 

 

LOSER: Renaldo Balkman, for making a total fool of himself during a basketball game. (One word: Goodbye!)

 

 

Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.PH and screenshots from TV shows and news clips

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