Winners & Losers of the Week: Dick Gordon, Ashton Kutcher + others

We list who got in and who got kicked out.

( We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.



WINNER: Grace Poe, for being ranked No. 1 in the Senate race. (Da King would be proud.)




WINNER: Mitos Magsaysay, for graciously conceding defeat. (We know we’ll hear from you again.)



WINNER: Vin Diesel, for proving that a sando can look good as outerwear...on the right body. (Then again, potbellied kanto regulars wear sando as outerwear all the time. For a more extensive discourse on the sando, please read blogger Lourd de Veyra’s "Sa Ikaaayos ng Mundo, ’Wag Mag-Sando.")



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WINNER: Former President Erap Estrada, for being elected as mayor of Manila despite everything he’s been accused of. (Plunder case? What plunder case?)



WINNER: Dick Gordon, for being the man behind the beloved hashtag #ipasoksidick. (Win or lose, thanks for a fun time, Dick.)

LOSER: Twilight star Kristen Stewart’s mom Jules Stewart, for being accused by her neighbor of keeping wolves. (Oh, the irony!)




LOSER: Department of Budget and Management Secretary Butch Abad, for talking about P-Noy’s successor in the 2016 elections. (Too soon, sir. Too damn soon.)



LOSER: Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade, for wearing ill-fitting pants. (It’s not like he doesn’t have money to buy pants that make him look good.)




LOSER: Annabelle Rama, for losing her bid to be the representative of Cebu’s first district. (It’s a good thing she didn’t give up her day job.)



LOSER: Ashton Kutcher, because his ex-wife Demi Moore is now going after his involvement in a venture capital fund worth $100 million in their negotiations for a settlement following their divorce. (Hell hath no fury and all that, Ashton.)


Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from and screenshots from, various TV show videos, news clips, and images used by fans in YouTube slideshows.

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