Winners & Losers of the Week: Polgas, The Forbes Park Tarsier + others

(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.

WINNER: President Noynoy Aquino, for berating the employees of the National Irrigation Authority during their 50th anniversary celebration. (Great! Good timing!)

WINNER: Charice Pempengco, for getting ready to do a duet with her girlfriend. (This girl is now the envy of every celebrity who’s still trapped in the closet.)

WINNER: Informal settlers, for living rent-free for years on waterways and wherever else-and then getting paid to move out. (We want to be informal settlers, too!)

WINNER: Willie Revillame, for reportedly being the first customer of Rolls-Royce Philippines. (We don’t know how Rolls-Royce feels about this.)

WINNER: Polgas (and the rest of the Pugad Baboy gang), for going digital. (Welcome to a brave new world, doggie!) [Screenshot of illustration by Pol Medina Jr.]

LOSER: Paula Deen, for getting fired by the Food Network for being racist. (It turns out there really are some things that money can’t buy.)

LOSER: North West, for being the cause of controversy even if it’s not her fault that she’s the child of paparazzi magnets Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. (We’ll be praying for you, kid.)

LOSERS: The public, for being duped by erroneous reports that claimed Pinoys no longer needed visas to go to Japan. (For the record, the Japanese government just allowed Pinoys multiple-entry visas.)

LOSER: Chris Brown , for getting into an altercation with a woman whose car he allegedly hit. (What is it with this guy and hostile developments involving cars?)

LOSER: The Forbes Park Tarsier, for getting smuggled out of Bohol and dying a day before he was going to be flown home. (It’s an endangered creature, for God’s sake!)

Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from TMZ.com, various TV show videos, news clips, and images used by fans in YouTube slideshows.