Winners & Losers of the Week: Daiana Menezes, the Pork Barrel Fund + others
We list who rocked and who bombed.
Daiana Menezes’ photo from PEP.ph and "porky people" image from screenshot of InterAksyon.com
(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.
WINNER: President Noynoy Aquino, for no longer being too pikon about getting accused of being "missing in action" at the height of the latest tropical storm to batter the country. (You guys can talk all you want but this man is still the most powerful person in the country-and his parents’ faces are printed on money.)
WINNER: The sneaky Rastreador de Namorado (Boyfriend Tracker) App, for being marketed as a "detective in your partner’s pocket" that can tell you where he is and send you duplicates of his messages. (Sayang! It was removed from the Google Play store before we could ask certain women to download it into their partners’ phones.)
WINNERS: Fed-up Filipinos, for organizing the August 26 gathering at the Luneta to protest the existence of the pork barrel fund. (Sobra na! Tama na! Alisin na! We’re aware that it sort of sounds like the protest chant against Ferdie and Meldy. That’s part of the point.)
WINNER: Kit Harington, for looking this good in the upcoming movie Pompeii. (Sorry, Game of Thrones fans, your Jon Snow now belongs to the world of shrieking men and women. Yes, we’re gender sensitive this way.)
WINNER: Daiana Menezes, for striking this provocative pose on the cover of UNO magazine’s 88th issue, which is out this month. (Now, does this look like a woman whose husband just accidentally shot himself?)
LOSER: Metro Manila (as well as other areas), for once again getting "disturbed" by a tropical storm and all the consequences that come with it. (It’s the same old floody story.) [Screenshot of photo from the Philippine Animal Lovers Society Facebook page.]
LOSER: Gretchen Barretto , for getting into an argument with a basher on Instagram. (You have enough Louis Vuitton bags to put up an LV store and a man who seems to adore you despite the controversy you attract, so why do you still have to engage in these Face to Face-worthy fights?)
LOSER: Rep. Lani Revilla-Mercado, for getting riled up when she was asked about the proposed abolition of the pork barrel fund. (Affected, much?)
LOSERS: The people looking for Janet Lim Napoles and her brother Reynald Lim, for not being able to locate them. (They probably just bought their own country.)
LOSER: The Pork Barrel Fund, for making everyone greedy. (Once you get a taste of it, you’ll be thinking of names for fake NGOs.)
Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from TMZ.com, Facebook fan pages, and various TV show videos, news clips, and images used by fans in YouTube slideshows.