Winners & Losers of the Week: Janet Napoles, Miley Cyrus + others
We list who were victorious and who surrendered.
(SPOT.ph) We list the personalities who experienced highs and lows this week. Admittedly, not all the winners may be ecstatic and not all the losers may be devastated. Life is complicated, folks. Remember: Don’t take everything literally and make sure to read between the lines...if you can find them. It’s up to you to guess when we mean what we say or when we’re putting on the snark. It keeps things interesting.
WINNER: Nikki Gil, for deleting all the Instagram photos showing ex-boyfriend Billy Crawford. (Exhibit A: This is how you move on.)
WINNERS: Claudine Barretto and Atty. Ferdinand Topacio (who believes Adolf Hitler is an exemplary human being), for finding each other. (The actress has praised her lawyer, saying, "He’s my best friend and protector.")
WINNER: Brazilian priest Father Geronimo Moreira, 32, for revealing to his parishioners that he had fallen in love with a woman and that his beloved was pregnant with their child. (No, it was not an Immaculate Conception and yes, he’s leaving the priesthood.)
WINNERS: Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla (KathNiel), for the debut of their new primetime show. (But, really, we’d watch the show for Ian Veneracion, Carmina Villaroel, Manilyn Reynes, and Benjie Paras.)
WINNER: Janet Napoles, for surrendering to P-Noy. (People joke that she turned herself in so she would be able to claim the P10 million reward offered for her capture. Now, that’s priceless!)
LOSER: Former Chief Justice Renato Corona, for attempting to join the Million People March and getting booed for it. (Dude, you were just asking for it.)
LOSER: Vincent Cassel, for losing Monica Belucci after 14 years of marriage. (We thought the sexy-ugly Frenchman and Italian goddess would grow old together.)
LOSER: The Department of Public Works and Highways, for drawing flak over the flag pole that costs nearly P8 million. (Well, that’s because the pole is made of adamatium!)
LOSERS: The LRT, for the DOTC declaring "a failed bidding for the Light Rail Transit Line 1 Cavite extension project." (In other words, we shouldn’t hold our breath for this.) [Screenshot of photo from Wikimedia Commons.]
LOSER: Miley Cyrus, for her performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. (Poor Robin Thicke got "blurred out" by her "Did she forget to take her medication?" antics.)
Art by Warren Espejo, with photos from PEP.ph and screenshots from TMZ.com, Facebook fan pages, and various TV show videos, news clips, and images used by fans in YouTube slideshows.