The SPOT.ph Christmas Party Survival Guide
How to answer the classic question: "When are you going to get married?"
(SPOT.ph) Everyone is in high spirits at Christmas parties (usually). There's alcohol served and people tend to lose their inhibitions, which means there's bound to be some blunders along the way. Being stuck in a room with all your friends, family or officemates might also lead to a cringe-worthy moment or two-nosy questions from relatives, unwanted attention from a sleazy drunk, an uncomfortable run-in with an ex. The possibilities are endless.
To help you survive the Christmas parties you might be attending this year, here are 10 ways to handle those nightmare situations...without having to run away screaming. Feel free to share your embarrassing Christmas party stories in the comments section.
The Smug Marrieds are wondering why you’re still single.
A relative asks you for the umpteenth time, "When are you going to get married?"
Do take it in stride. Your answer can be vague ("You never know what the future holds..."), snarky ("Sorry, I left my crystal ball at home."), deadpan ("After my divorce."), or even political ("When everyone has the right to marry."). But only use that last one if you mean it. Another tactic is to change the topic to their spouse or kids. Everyone loves to talk about their kids.
Don't launch into a sob story about how your last boyfriend was a total loser. That would just prompt more questions.
"I’m not drunk...Can I have another drink?"
You've had one drink too many and you're getting drunk.
Do be a Happy Drunk. Giggle uncontrollably, be the life of the party, and just dance (gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm). Life is great, and you’re just bringing some positivity. But try not to be a Sad Drunk, Angry Drunk, or Throwing Up Drunk.
Don't slap people, drive, make out with a stranger, cry, get into a fight, wax philosophical about nothing, get a tattoo, drunk text/dial your ex, take selfies of your drunk or crying self, post confessions on Facebook. You get the picture.
Who wore it better?
You're feeling good about your outfit for the party, until you notice someone else wearing the exact same thing.
Do what Miley Cyrus and Kim Cattrall did in Sex and the City 2. Walk up to the girl with the identical outfit and compliment her: "Love your dress!" Hello, Instagram! How’s that for an #ootd?
Don't spend the evening trying to avoid her. Or trying to do a quick DIY alteration. You don’t want to end up with a wardrobe malfunction.
My ex-boyfriend is holding hands with another girl (gulp).
You run into the last person you want to see-your ex-boyfriend, with his new girlfriend.
Do take a page from My Amnesia Girl and pretend you’ve totally forgotten his existence. "And this is...sorry, what’s your name again? I’m so bad with names!"
Don't spend the evening staring at them and stalking. Keep your chin up and just be cool.
Blimey, I have to wear the reindeer sweater my mum gave me.
Someone gives you a Christmas gift. You don't like it at all, but he's waiting to see your reaction.
Do say thank you. We've all gotten a bad gift at some point. But, as they say, it's the thought that counts, and the person did go to the trouble of buying you a gift. So smile (even if it's forced) and say, "I've never had one of these before," or "You shouldn't have!" (We know you actually mean this).
Don't regift the item to the same person who gave it, or anyone he or she might know. Awkward!
Let’s hope your meet-the-family dinner doesn’t end up like this.
You're meeting the family of your boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time at Christmas dinner.
Do start things off on the right foot by bringing a gift. Compliment them on their lovely home and delicious food. Keep the conversation going-good small talk topics include current events (but not politics), movies, or, as a last resort, the weather.
Don't say things like "I was married once," or "I racked up a huge credit card debt because of my shopping addiction!"
The office horndog starts hitting on you.
Do pretend you received a phone call from a friend and use it as your exit strategy. It's best to walk away and join your friends. Ultimately, it's flattering when someone flirts with you, even if you're not attracted to him. But if he becomes obnoxious or gets handsy, it's a swift knee to the groin.
Don't drink too much as it will impair your judgment.You know what they say: "Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder."
Try going to four family reunions in one day.
You've double-booked your Christmas parties for the evening.
Do master the art of punctuality-and making a French exit. And make sure you have enough gas to take on the traffic!
Don't mix up the gifts you'll be giving to different people. You don’t want grandma to end up with the dildo you got your best friend as a gag gift.
I spilled casserole on myself!
You've spilled punch all over your dress.
Do try to get rid of the stain discreetly or find something to disguise it (hide it with your bag or the table napkin). Put dishwashing soap on a damp rag and pat the stained area to soak up the stain.
Don't wash your clothes. Not unless you want to look like a wet blanket, or a contender at a wet t-shirt contest.
Please make the water go down.
You must have eaten something bad because you suddenly have a bathroom emergency.
Do make sure there's toilet paper available or water and a tabo. Avoid clogging the toilet. After you do your business, check to make sure it's been flushed. Repeat flushing if necessary.
Don't leave a stink. Matches are your best weapon. Light a match, let it burn for five seconds, blow it out, and throw it in the toilet. If you don't have a match, spray perfume, open a window, turn on the fan. Also, don’t go telling your friends that someone left a little suprise in the toilet, when it was really you who did it.