(SPOT.ph) Nobody likes elevator rides. It’s not the same as when you were a kid and you got permission to press the button and you actually got a rush from that funny feeling when your stomach turned as the elevator would come to a stop. Elevator rides are now dreaded trips you must face, a sardine can-like trap that you must endure because the alternative is taking the stairs and nobody, nobody likes taking the stairs. For a few moments, you share that small space with other people, and we hope that you hardly ever have to encounter the following that we have listed.
At least these two still have the decency to keep the doors open.
1. The Oblivious One
Oh, he saw you. He saw you running for the elevator and he definitely heard you when you yelled, "Please hold!" Yet, he did nothing. He also did nothing when you got sandwiched in between the elevator doors. At this point, you can only hope that you’ve suddenly acquired the power of invisibility because this guy just does not care. The "open" button is there. Use it!
If only this worked in real life.
2. The One in a Rush
Are you running late for work? Do you really need to pee? Too bad. That doesn’t give you an excuse to be a jerk. You’ve probably been a victim of this guy, like maybe that one time your foot got trapped in between the doors because he kept pressing the "close" button like his life depended on it. Give us at least a second to back off!
Don’t be afraid to share your space. Elevator group hug!
3. The One with Too Much Personal Space
We get it. We don’t like getting trapped in a small, confined space with total strangers either, even if it’s just for a few seconds. But please, if you know that at least one person can still fit, let them in. Don’t be afraid to move to the side or even to the back. It’s okay, you’ll still get out of there, we promise.
Pray that nobody farts.
4. The One Who Doesn’t Know About Personal Space
We didn’t mean to read your lovey-dovey message to your boyfriend. It’s just that you were standing so close, we could count the lashes on your eyes. Yes, this is truly getting too intimate. Now move. (And if they’re wearing bad cologne, our deepest sympathies.)
Silence! Or else.
5. The Ones Who Can’t Stop Talking
Elevators have great acoustics. That tiny box bounces each tiny sound off its walls. That doesn’t mean you need to turn it into your ampitheater. Or a chat room. But some people just don’t get it. So next time you get stuck in between two people (or worse, a whole group) who insist on chatting from opposite sides of the elevator, join in. Maybe that’s what they want, a riveting debate with a stranger on what they should have for lunch.
Sometimes, it feels like this.
6. The One With the Huge Bag
Hi. We’ve been stuck between your massive backpack and the wall during the whole elevator ride. Yes, we were there the whole time. Thanks for caring.
"It’s like a Christmas tree!"
7. The One Who Presses all the Buttons
This is not a theme park ride. Please make sure you know which floor you’re headed.
Put down the phone and we promise you won’t get hurt.
8. The One Who’s Stuck to Their Phone
We hate to break it to you, but most elevators block out cellphone service. There’s no point in carrying out the conversation (which we can all hear). It’s okay, let it go. It’s time to say goodbye.
Just make sure you don’t hit anyone in the face with your dance moves.
9. The One with the Headphones
Also in elevator trivia: we can hear everything. But they can’t, they with their gigantic, noise-canceling headphones. Everybody knows they’re swaying their head to One Direction. That’s nice, but not so great when you’ve got your hands full and you need somebody to press your floor button.
Passengers carrying food will be met with both annoyance and envy.
10. The One with the Food
We can’t blame this person, but we can still dislike them. Envy them as well. Especially during lunch hour, the elevator is a delightful array of smells. Tantalizing scents that send our stomachs grumbling. We weren’t craving fried chicken today, but damn you, this is all your fault