10 Urban Legends That Drove Pinoys Crazy (2014 Edition)
Jose the Ripper and other stories
(SPOT.ph) They say that if you repeat a lie enough, it turns into the truth. Sometimes reason prevails, but "a million people can’t be wrong" and arguing from authority results in the perpetuation of very strange stories.
A friend told us that his friend said that they heard someone gave P10 to this beggar in Quiapo-and then the beggar turned out to be an artista...from Wow Mali...no wait, that’s not an urban legend.
Here are 10 actual myths that some people still believe, even though they’ve been busted.
10 Urban Legends That Drove Pinoys Crazy
1. The Curious Case of Agapito Flores and Armando Lite
A friend of a friend of a friend said: Growing up, a lot of people were told that a Filipino inventor named Armando Lite invented the M16, the gun more popularly known as the armalite (pun-tastic) and that the fluorescent light was named after Agapito Flores. This is how we were introduced to #PinoyPride in school...and to this day, people still parrot these details as fact despite all evidence to the contrary. (Check out this article by Queena N. Lee-Chua from the Philippine Daily Inquirer for some truth.)
If the urban legend were true: If your name was an indication of what you could achieve in life, this could mean that Juan dela Cruz invented the cruise missile, Enrico "Chiz" Sarmiento perfected the process of making cheese pimiento, and Dominador Dimasarado created the door stopper. Better name your kid right, folks.
2. The Aquinos and the End of Days
A friend of a friend of a friend said: A story goes that Kris Aquino has a biochip (with a 666 serial number) implant in her right hand or wrist and that P-Noy is planning on implementing some sort of health care system that will force everyone to have the same chip implanted in their right hand or forehead. If the Good Book is to be believed, then this means that the Aquinos are the devil and that the End of Days is near.
If the urban legend were true: Hell would be more kikay and sosi than anyone ever imagined. (But come on, who’s going to believe this? Health care system in the Philippines? Nonsense.)
3. The Magically Multiplying Kisses
A friend of a friend of a friend said: A long, long, long time ago in the ’90s, there were Kisses-colorful little scented beads that made kids extra nutty. Man, the things that amused us before the Internet existed, huh? Anyway, children actually cared for their Kisses because they believed that if you put the Kisses in a box with a cotton ball moistened with water or (rubbing) alcohol, they would have babies. For a time, kids everywhere obsessively looked after their Kisses and impatiently waited for the magic to happen.
If the urban legend were true: Based on how many kids fell for this in the ’90s, we would be overrun by them right now and paying our respects to our Kisses overlords. But, on the bright side, our world would smell really, really nice.
4. Filthy fast food
A friend of a friend of a friend said: Would you still enjoy your favorite fast food spaghetti or burger if you knew they were made out of earthworms? What if you knew that your favorite siopao contained cat bits? What if you find a fried rat in the chicken bucket you just ordered? The biggest fast food chains all have these weird stories about people finding less-than-acceptable, often disgusting ingredients in their food. Some stories even say that people have found rusty nails.
If the urban legend were true: #eww #suka
5. Soda and body parts
A friend of a friend of a friend said: This urban legend has several variations. One popular version tells the story of students on a field trip finding a dead body floating in one of [insert soda company here]'s mixing vats. Another version tells of a person finding a thumb (or a toe) inside a can of soda he just finished. So take your pick. Either version you choose gets you a partially decomposed dead body or body part in your fizzy drink.
If the urban legend were true: If these were true, we think the people who found those things would raise a bigger stink, don’t you? We probably would.
6. The White Lady of Balete Drive
A friend of a friend of a friend said: Balete Drive is practically synonymous with white ladies and other forms of ghosts. For the thimbleful of people out there who don't know the story, the infamous White Lady of Balete Drive is either a casualty of a pretty gruesome vehicular accident or a murdered rape victim who haunts passersby (often taxi drivers) between 12 a.m. and 3 a.m. Other stories about Balete Drive talk about ghosts of old Spanish landowners still protecting their homes and other supernatural stories involving kapres and tikbalangs.
If the urban legend were true: Then kudos to the ghosts and other ghouls haunting the place! Your dedication to creeping us out is unparalleled.
7. The Ghosts of Star Mall
A friend of a friend of a friend said: A couple went to watch a comedy flick in Star Mall late one night. They were late so they hurried to get in the theater for the last full show. Long story short, the movie started, and the couple laughed along with the crowd as they watched the film. To their surprise, when the lights came back on, there were only a handful of people in the theater. Da-dun!
If the urban legend were true: Then we know that ghosts still laugh at comedies. But do they get scared when watching horror movies?
8. Don’t eat in Capiz, Siquijor, and Antique (and Iloilo. And Aklan. And everywhere else)!
A friend of a friend of a friend said: From supernatural beings to mystics to witch doctors, Capiz, Siquijor, and Antique have it all. For a lot of folks, these places are the paranormal centers of the Philippines. There’s that rumor circulating that you should never, ever eat "home-cooked" meals in these places. They’re made of humans and eating them will turn you into an aswang! The sheer number of creepy stories linked to these places is mind-blowing...and your friends will always, always share them with you just as you’re planning on exploring those parts of the Philippines.
If the urban legend were true: Then the Philippines is rich in resources both natural and supernatural.
9. Legendary Celebrity Sexual Mishaps
A friend of a friend of a friend said: In the’ 80s, it was an actor’s infamous bulb-up-the-bum incident that got people's attention; a wild night with his paramour ended in an emergency room. Recently, it was someone’s, er, little willy getting trapped in his girlfriend’s happy place that made the headlines. (We’re pretty sure you know who they are even if we don’t identify them.) It makes you wonder why these celebs can't have normal sex like the rest of us. Forget leaked sex videos! If you want your romp to be remembered, end it with a trip to the ER.
If the urban legend were true: Then it would be really, really funny.
10. Rizal is Jack the Ripper
A friend of a friend of a friend said: So Rizal didn't just father one of the most evil bastards in the world (Hitler, allegedly), but he's also one of the most infamous serial killers of all time. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!
Some say that there is strong historical evidence that confirms that Jack the Ripper is, indeed, Jose Rizal. Certain historical documents allegedly show that Rizal was in London at the time of the murders. The victims were mutilated by someone, theoretically, with a medical background. Rizal was a doctor, wasn't he? Rizal's womanizing was no secret and Jack the Ripper only killed women. Some also reason that Jack the Ripper and Rizal have the same initials, so, BOOM! Jose Rizal is Jack the Ripper.
If the urban legend were true: Then it's time to pick a new, non-Nazi-siring-and-woman-murdering national hero. (We do regret to inform you that Jack the Ripper was Aaron Kosminski.)
10 Urban Legends That Drove Pinoys Crazy