10 Politico Lines You Can Use for Everyday Problems

If they can get away with anything, so can you!

 

(SPOT.ph) You’re sitting in front of the TV...or let’s be realistic, you’re scrolling through your feed on Facebook or Twitter and you see corruption allegations being thrown left and right. You wonder: If there’s so much evidence, how do these people get away with it?

 

Forget actions speaking louder than words. We’ve seen enough word wars and barb-trading to figure out that you can talk your way out of anything. Take a lesson from the pros.

 

 

1.When you’re late for work: "I'm ready to face any fair and impartial investigation on all the allegations that are being hurled against me and my family."

Deny everything. They’re just out to bring you down, bro.

Photo source: Popsugar

 

 

2. When you’re accused of spending too much money time on projects Facebook: "That’s really funny... Isn’t that ridiculous?"

They can’t prove nothin’. Shake it off.

Photo source: Grits

 

 

3. After you’ve screwed up royally: "Now is not the time to have a blame game. Now is the time to unite and to pick up the pieces."

We’re a team and you don’t have enough fingers to point at everyone. Amirite?

Photo source: Pixgood

 

 

4. When someone complains about you: "They themselves want to be in power and see me as a threat to that ambition."

Beating you at your own game? Please.

Photo source: Bustle.com

 

 

5. When you’re caught doing something mildly unethical yet vaguely effective: "Tama ang intensyon. Tama ang pamamaraan. Tama ang resulta."

Who cares about following the rules when the highest office in the land can’t be bothered with the Constitution?

Photo source: halofanon.wikia.com

 

 

6. When your numbers are down or when people don’t like you: "Surveys are snapshots of a political landscape at a certain time and accordingly fluctuate. The more accurate measure of government performance is the number of people who are empowered to take advantage of new and better opportunities."

Take a line from Chicago: "Give ’em the old razzle dazzle."

Photo source: imgur.com

 


7. When someone disagrees with you: "If he thinks we are on a wrong direction (sic), he is free not to join us."

It’s a good time to point out that we’re not quoting fictional high schoolers. An adult, working for the government, said this.

Photo source: meangirlgifs.tumblr.com

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8. When someone’s being a bitch: "You are questioning my authority. I walk out of this meeting."

Unlike Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago, you’re not required to have a press conference. You may choose to blab about the mishap on Facebook, but don’t blame us for "friendship overs" and people unfollowing you.

Photo source: Huffington Post / Tumblr

 


9. If someone messes with you: "I’ll shoot you."

We’re not promoting violence. We’re quoting government officials.

Photo source: Sodahead.com / Tumblr

 

 

10. For the worst: "I now leave everything to God."

He’s on your side, for sure.

Photo source: ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

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