Creative writing student Bea Sanchez slept over at a friend's place to avoid the election victory party in her house as she continued to cope with her loss, while pondering over what's next for relationships with family that were strained by the presidential elections.
Sanchez shares the plight of those who distanced themselves from some social circles due to politics. With presumptive president Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. handed a landslide win over outgoing Vice President Leni Robredo, the question is how long should personal relationships be affected.
"You grew up with them so you'd like to believe that you know them, so kapag may isang ginawa na against sa kung paano mo sila nakilala, mapapa-question ka talaga kung tama ba pagkakakilala mo sa taong 'yun," Sanchez, a Robredo supporter, told reportr.
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It's normal for the youth to feel disillusioned by friends and family who don't share their values when it comes to voting, said psychologist Honey Carandang, who specializes in family psychology.
Emotional wounds are fresh and young voters can be more highly reactive instead of constructively responsive to the situation, Carandang said.
Can relationships be saved?
Young voters can't comprehend why despite their efforts to convince friends and family to pick their candidate, these people whom they love and respect still voted the way they did, Carandang said.
"Sabi natin nun palaging digital na lang sila, 'di sila involved sa country. Now that they are so involved, they are so passioante, they are so idealistic so malaking, malaking impact nung nangyaring election sa kanila," she said.
While it's possible to repair relationships when emotions die down, they don't always go back to the way things were, she said.
For reconciliation to happen, Carandang said people should accept differences in values and avoid feelings of bitterness and resentment.
"You can still live together and have compassion in the future but it may not be as close as before and you have to accept that. It's not wrong," she said.
Is it still unfriending season?
First-time voter and psychology student Cleo Ablen unfriended some of her relatives for telling her to "move on" as Marcos had won over her choice, Robredo. She is expecting their family's upcoming reunion to be a quiet one.
"Silently jina-judge ko na sila, magiging civil na lang ako pero hindi ko na kayang makipag-usap sa kanila kasi nawawalan talaga ko respeto sa kanila at sa tingin ko matagal kong dadamdamin 'yun. Siguro six years."
Ablen said she was dismayed to see relatives, whom she described as "mababait" and "sobrang caring", to vote based on looks, popularity and disinformation online that have been challenged by fact-checkers.
Carandang said mending ties should be seen as an option, not a must. It should be considered when a strained relationship disturbs one's peace.
"Once you accept the imperfections of the older members of the family or friends, that they're just human... once you start to think that way dahil 'di mo na sila pinipilit maging kapareho mo 'yung tingin nila, then you have room to look at them more objectively. After that, you will have room to see and accept that they are not perfect."
Clinical psychologist Honey Carandang specializes in child and family psychology in the Philippines and is a national social scientist. She also founded MLAC Institute for Psychosocial Services. Visit this page for more details.