10 Cliched Phrases in Your Resume, Translated

Because "Proficient in MS Excel" sounds impressive

 

(SPOT.ph) Before you reach the dreaded job interview, you must first make it past the first hurdle: The equally terrifying resume. You've probably consulted a thesaurus while writing it. You've also likely asked your friend how their resumes look..and subsequently felt really inadequate after reading theirs. (How does everyone have so much work experience?!!) We decoded 10 statements commonly found in resumes...including yours.

 

Also read:
10 Overused Breakup Lines, Translated
10 Girlfriend Statements, Translated
10 Guy Statements, Translated

 

"Proficient in MS Excel"

Translation: I used MS Excel once in my college thesis, but I forgot all the formulas...and that's what Help is for, right?

 

 

"Results-oriented"

Translation: I probably Googled how to write a resume.

 

"Hard-working"

Translation: I didn't Google how to write a resume.

 

 

"People person"

Translation: I have more than a thousand friends on Facebook.

 

"Salary negotiable"

Translation: I really, really need a job right now.

 

 

"Excellent oral and written communication skills"

Translation: I have written so many papers at the last minute. So. Many. (Also: Madaldal ako.)

 

"Responsible for..."

Translation: A more impressive way of using a bullet point.

 

 

"Team player"

Translation: All my groupmates in college sucked so I learned to work by myself.

 

"Thinks outside-the-box"

Translation: Can be weird if that's what you need to be (but I don't mean that in a kinky way).

 

 

"References available upon request"

Translation: Delaying tactic a.k.a. I need to list a reference? How many?!! Oh God, help!

 

Also read:
10 Overused Breakup Lines, Translated
10 Girlfriend Statements, Translated
10 Guy Statements, Translated

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