10 Thoughts Every Girl Has When Getting Her Brows Threaded
Tiis-ganda has never been more real.
(SPOT.ph) You haven't experienced actual pain if you have never had your brows threaded. So what if your boyfriend of 10 years cheated on you with his ex-girlfriend? Your unkempt brows are telling you that your next threading session is just around the corner...and that's way more important. You give yourself time to prepare for the Big Day—and that means going through episodes of palpitations, crazily sweaty palms, and a hundred pep talks: You are woman. You can bleed for days and not die! You can totally handle a piece of thread plucking out small, unruly hair! The Big Day comes and you're settling into the posh chair (of torture). We list the thoughts that run through your head while getting your brows threaded.
"Can she tell that I'm scared shitless right now?"
You remember the last time you threaded your brows. Though you came out with strikingly beautiful arches, the experience wasn't exactly a pretty one. It involved a lot of sweat and buckets of tears!
"Whatever. I got through it before. Brows on fleek, here I come!"
It really can't be that bad, right? You've done this before! And you're used to getting hurt, anyway—if only your face can be as numb as your ice-cold heart.
"And it begins. Tiis-ganda has never been more real."
You question the brow gods why they didn't bless you with an effortlessly beautiful pair. What did you do to deserve this torture?
"Does this hurt more than getting a tattoo?"
Because you really cannot imagine anything that could be more painful than this. You wouldn't even wish this pain upon your enemies. You actually think threading can be a form of punishment for bad people!
"Why does it feel like she's threaded my entire brow off my face?"
Regrets. You should've just shaved your arches yourself, right? Plus, blades don't hurt one bit! Why are you paying hundreds of pesos to have a woman painfully pluck your brows out again? Is she threading your entire forehead??!
"May galit ba sa akin si ate?"
Did you say something mean about her to her other clients? All you did was tell your friend about how her boob was resting on your head during your last session. Is she psychic? Can she read your mind right now? Oh, paranoia. Not fun.
"Oh no, oh no. The tears."
You tried so hard to keep the tears from falling, but they did anyway. The kind lady hands you a piece of tissue...but continues to get her tweezer and pluck all the leftover hair, anyway. Gee, thanks for the help. Lady has no mercy.
"Do I really have a moustache?"
Also, does this lady actually think you're enjoying her services that she would offer to thread your upper lip hair? Wait... Do you have upper lip hair? IS IT OBVIOUS? Are your friends even your friends if they didn't tell you you had a moustache?
"Ahh, scissors! You're my best friend!"
Probably the only comforting thing you experience during a threading session. The cool metal touching your burning skin as the lady trims your arches is the most satisfying feeling in the world—even if it's not meant to be calming.
"I really hope I don't bump into anyone I know after this."
You may have the neatest set of brows in the world right now, but two red patches above your eyes is not exactly a pretty sight.
"Finally! It's over! Hallelujah! FREEDOM!"
Right now, you only care about the whole thing being over. You're not even mad if it turns out too thin (can't really do anything about it, anyway). You're just glad it's over! See you never, brow lady! JK. But first, cold compress, please.