Slater Young, Group Chats, and Objectifying Women: A Short History

(SPOT.ph) Slater Young has finally issued a long-awaited apology for a statement he made on a podcast with his wife, Kryz Uy, which sparked controversy for perpetuating the objectification of women in male-group settings.

Young faced significant backlash from the online community after he expressed his view that it is "very, very normal" for men in committed relationships to fantasize about women in group chats with friends. Criticism also extended to Uy for seemingly supporting his take in a podcast episode on May 9.

Exactly a week later, Young said he felt "ashamed" for the way his words are being broadcoasted by various media channels. The scathing reactions have prompted him to rethink his perspective and take responsibility for his statement.

“I wish I could take it back. I should have set a better example,” Young said in the latest episode of the podcast. “I should have called it out na, 'Yes, it happens, but it isn't okay.' We should hold ourselves to a higher standard. ‘Yun ‘yung pinakamalaki kong learning—a big eye-opener for me. I truly, truly do apologize in my heart of hearts.”

Also read: 5 Reasons Why Rape Jokes Need to Stop

Slater Young and Kryz Uy on the controversy

A quick backgrounder for those who are only hearing about these two now: Young is a popular multi-millionaire engineer who won Pinoy Big Brother: Unlimited in 2012. He married style content creator Uy in 2019. Since then, this influencer couple has won the hearts of many, who claim that the “SkyFam” is one of the healthier and more mature public relationships out there.

This led to the creation of SkyPodCast, where they have honest conversations about life, relationships, and everything in between for posting on Spotify and YouTube every Tuesday and Friday.

Also read: 10 Cool Tips for Homeowners From Slater Young

With the vouching of his wife, Young is popularly thought of as a walking green flag—so it came as a shock to many that he would call unhealthy talk in group chats "normal."

This is what Young said on the May 9 podcast episode:

"It’s just a fact of life that there are many other women more attractive than you or just as attractive as you. ‘Yung mga groups na nagsesend ng photos of girls and fantasizing over it, it’s normal. It’s very, very normal," Young said. "We have a lot of chat groups with friends, not naman necessarily dedicated to that, but from time to time. For example, you have a group of 10 friends, merong dalawa o tatlong tao na mahilig magsend ng mga ganiyan, may mga comments pa. Siyempre ikaw, as part of that group, sakyan mo lang. Wala naman, hindi mo naman gusto talaga.”

To which Uy replied: “Honestly, to protect my peace, I have never looked at your group chat…I’m like ‘Bakit pa? Wala naman siya ginawa in person.’ That is similar to I have chat groups with my friends, and they said cute guy photos, alangan naman hindi ako mag-reply?”

Prior to his apology, Young took to his Instagram stories to clarify that he had been misunderstood and urged people to listen to the podcast to grasp the full context of his statements. In a seemingly related move, Uy shared an Instagram story featuring a greeting card that read “Think peace, act peace, spread peace," which some speculate was a response to the backlash.

Online, some said that Young just used the wrong choice of words—he should have said “common” instead of “normal” as to not normalize the behavior. Others aren’t so keen to give him the benefit of the doubt, claiming that Young was never the walking green flag that his social media image purports.

It took Young a week to speak about the significance of his statement.

“It took a few days to sink in, it took a lot of reading through comments, because I wanted to understand why this was the case. Feeling ko nasa bubble ako na hindi ko nakikita kung ano ‘yung nakikita ng iba,” Young said. “I finally realized…that I made a mistake because I’m giving it power to say it’s okay. Me saying it’s normal…makes it [seem] okay. The farthest thing in my mind and my heart would be to objectify women.”

On Uy's end, she acknowledged her position as a role model and the responsibility they have to listeners of the SkyPodCast platform.

The couple said they are taking in the whole situation as a valuable learning experience to be more mindful of what they say on such a public platform. 

“It isn’t just a conversation between the two of us anymore because they’re so many people listening in,” Uy said. “Even if I know you don’t objectify women…that doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, there are so many people who listen to what we have to say that aren’t in our circumstance. We have to be careful about how they understand it.”

“I’m confident I have nothing to worry about, but it is something to be sorry about," Uy added. "We wish there was a delete button.”

Also read: What Constitutes as Rape? No Penetration Necessary, Supreme Court Rules