Sen. Lito Lapid hates junk food, Willing Willie debuts + more lowlights

Sen. Lito Lapid latest crazy law, Willie Revillame’s new show airs, and more lowlights.

 

1. MISS RESORTS WORLD CANDIDATE MAKES THE MOST OUT OF HER ON-STAGE SLIP. There’s a thin line between cliche and cute--and this is it.

 

2. DEAD MAN FOUND INSIDE A DRUM IN MANILA, COPS SUSPECT HE WAS A HAZING VICTIM. If an applicant dies, does he automatically become a fraternity member? (Death should be considered macho enough.)

 

3. PRESIDENT NOYNOY AQUINO DISCUSSES THE STATE OF HIS LOVE LIFE. P-Noy will form a Truth Commission dedicated to his love life. (Only then will we find out the whole boring truth.)

 

4. MOM OF SANGGUNIANG KABATAAN CANDIDATE STABBED WITH A BALLPEN BY RIVAL CANDIDATE’S SUPPORTER. Wow, what was the brand of the ballpen?

 

5. FALLEN TREE BRANCHES CAUSE GRIDLOCK. It takes great talent to turn a traffic advisory into full-blown news.

6. SEN. LITO LAPID WANTS TO PASS A LAW THAT WILL "PERPETUALLY BAN" JUNK FOOD IN SCHOOLS. Somebody is attempting to grow a brain--and we’re all going to pay for it.

 

7. WILLIE REVILLAME’S NEW SHOW, WILLING WILLIE, DEBUTS ON TV5. No matter where crap may go, it will always stink.

 

8. BAGUIO’S CEMETERY OF NEGATIVISM LETS YOU "BURY" NEGATIVE HABITS. Can we also bury negative people there...alive?

 

9. IN THE WAKE OF THE CONFIRMATION OF HER BREAKUP WITH VIC SOTTO LAST JULY, PIA GUANIO IS SHOWN CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY WITH DOGS AT PAWS. Moral of the story: Furry animals will never break your heart...but playboy comedians will.

 

10. MILEY CYRUS’ PARENTS SPLIT UP AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS. Because knowing this will definitely help stop climate change.

 

Art by Warren Espejo.

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