Pacman battles the BIR, Robin Padilla’s "brotherly shock" + more lowlights

Plus, Katrina Halili’s announcement, Mar Roxas on "Noynoying," and more nutty tales.

 

1. ROBIN PADILLA SAYS HE’S STILL IN SHOCK OVER BROTHER RUSTOM PADILLA TRANSFORMING TO BB GANDANGHARI. He came out on national TV with Keanna Reeves, his confidante, peeing in the bushes six years ago...so get over it.

 

2. ATTY. VITALIANO AGUIRRE-THE GUY WHO GOT FLAK FOR COVERING HIS EARS DURING ONE OF SENATOR MIRIAM SANTIAGO’S TIRADES-WAS A JUDGE AT THE MUTYA NG DAVAO PAGEANT. Would it be OK to cover our eyes now?

 

3. HELEN GAMBOA SAYS HER NIECE, MEGASTAR SHARON CUNETA, IS NOW "UNREACHABLE," BUT CUNETA SAYS SHE’S JUST "CLOSER TO GOD." If she’s that close to God, that explains why she’s "unreachable."

 

4. JINKEE PACQUIAO TAGGED AS A "WOMAN OF STRENGTH." How about "woman of stretch"? (You looked fine before all that...whatever it is.)

 

5. JIMMY SIECZKA, THE GUY IN THE 20 REASONS WHY I DISLIKE THE PHILIPPINES VIDEO, SAYS SORRY FOR OFFENDING PINOYS. We were expecting a 20 Reasons Why I Should Be Forgiven video.

6. DOTC SECRETARY MAR ROXAS DEFENDS P-NOY FROM "NOYNOYING," REDEFINES THE WORD IN THE MOST FLATTERING TERMS. Ahhh...so much love...and it’s not even Valentine’s Day anymore.

 

7. IN THE FACE OF HIS RENEWED FAITH, BOXER-LAWMAKER MANNY PACQUIAO SEEMS READY FOR A SMACKDOWN WITH THE BUREAU OF INTERNAL REVENUE. It must be really hard for a boxer to learn how to turn the other cheek.

 

8. KATRINA HALILI SAYS SHE’S PREGNANT WITH KRIS LAWRENCE’S CHILD. When we said we wish we’d hear positive news from you, we didn’t exactly expect this. (Congratulations on the baby!)

 

9. FORMER CHILD STAR JIRO MANIO, WHO CHARMED US IN MAGNIFICO, GETS OUT OF REHAB AND GRADUATES FROM HIGH SCHOOL. Kid, it can only get better from here.

 

10. CEBU TEEN WHO PREVIOUSLY PUNISHED FOR POSTING A PHOTO OF HER BIKINI-CLAD SELF ON FACEBOOK GETS TO ATTEND HER CATHOLIC SCHOOL GRADUATION AFTER JUDGE RULES IN HER FAVOR. From hereon, remember the 11th commandment: Thou shall only wear bikinis in the privacy of your own island and when you do, please don’t pose for photos or you will burn in the fires of hell.

 

Art by Warren Espejo.

Image credit: Screenshot of Mar Roxas from ANC’s Strictly Politics.

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