How to Love Your Body? By Allowing It to Just Exist. Period.

(SPOT.ph) "Tumaba ka." It's one of the most common (and dreaded) questions during get-togethers that can launch women, and men, into a downward spiral of hating and punishing their bodies regardless of size. How do you embrace your body when the world tells you that no matter whether you're stick-thin, chubby, or perfectly in between, you'll never look good?

The practice of body neutrality is like waving a white flag in a war against your body; it is you allowing yourself to enjoy life without thinking about your body's looks. Celebrities like four-time Grammy awardee Lizzo, The Good Place and She-Hulk actress Jameela Jamil, and seven-time Grammy winner Billie Eilish have been vocal about normalizing how their bodies look at a time when dieting culture on social media are shaped more by influencers than health professionals. 

“I’m not interested in my appearance. I still suffer from body dysmorphia so it can be very distracting for me. Doing that has helped me concentrate on progressing and doing things that enrich my life, like watching my career grow and my relationships grow. That’s what gives me a wonderful sense of self," said Jamil in an interview with People in 2019.

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What is body neutrality?

Those who embrace the body neutrality movement simply acknowledge their bodies exist, said advocate Ayn Bernos, a beauty queen and founder of clothing brand Morena the Label.

"We are not just our bodies. Our value doesn't fluctuate with our weight; our value doesn't change depending on how validated we are or how other people think about our bodies," she told SPOT.ph in an earlier interview.

Body image coach Anne Poirier in 2016 popularized the term body neutrality, which became a middle—or neutral—ground between loving and hating your body.

"Body neutrality is a shift in perspective, from body hatred, disgust, and dislike, to body appreciation and respect. It is honoring the body as it is and taking a few steps down the body image continuum towards a more neutral zone," said Poirier, who battled hating her body for 40 years. 

Compared to body positivity, which is rooted in loving and celebrating all bodies regardless of how it looks, body neutrality isn't centered on appearances; rather, it focuses on respecting what the body can do. Body neutrality won't tell you to love your body right away, especially if you've grown to hate it; it just wants you to accept your body, which allows you to jump, bend, climb, run, or move however you want to, said psychologist Susan Albers.

To be clear: there's no right or wrong between the two movements; it depends on how you want to shape your perspective about your body, and both beat practicing toxic diet culture.

For registered dietitian and nutritionist Jo Sebastian, body neutrality is for those like her who want "to feel more comfortable" in their bodies.

"It's not saying that you shouldn't change your body or that you shouldn't care about your body; it's just about thinking that whatever my body looks like, I'm worthy of taking up space, having a platform, taking care of myself. I am worthy of these things," Sebastian told SPOT.ph in an earlier interview.

"I think that's what we need—to show that whatever body shape and size you are, you deserve to live your life. Of course you'll take care of yourself but you still deserve to experience life in general and I think that's something we just need to have more of, overall."

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Body neutrality is a practice in mindfulness, allowing you to "just be." Instead of thinking about what it looks like, you can listen more to what your body tells you and what you can do about it. 

Bottomline: body neutrality advocates want you to know that your worth does not depend on what the scale or mirror shows.

"It's something we tend to forget. We are all going to age, our bodies are going to change perpetually and we have to accept that our worth goes beyond our bodies," Bernos said.

How to embrace body neutrality

Ending a war with your body might not be as easy as it sounds, but it is possible. Here are some tips on how you can do it, according to Poirier and Baylor University:

• Call a truce on the war with your body
• Write down five things every day that your body can do to practice daily body appreciation
• Acknowledge your body's strengths
• Do a social media feed detox: remove people or sites that mae you feel bad about yourself or makes you compare yourself with others and follow feel-good accounts
• Practice intuitive eating, where you break free from toxic dieting and allow yourself to eat mindfully without judgments and guilt
• Listen to your body when working out instead of sticking to strict workout regimens
• Set goals that are health-based, not appearance-based
• End negative self-talk with body neutral phrases like:
  - Thank your body, for taking care of me today.
  - My thighs are strong and help me walk.
  - Thank you, belly, for holding my organs (or for making wonderful little humans).
  - My arms allow me to hug the ones I love.
  - My weight does not define my worth.