In Defense of Solo Travel
It often comes with a pinch of guilt but, says the author, the guilt goes away.
(SPOT.ph) On a solo vacation in Hong Kong a couple of weeks ago, I had a quick chat with a bartender in his mid-20s who confessed he’s never tried traveling alone. The reason: he’s scared he’d end up feeling lonely. I was about to say, “Not with your baby boy charms.” But I thankfully stopped myself. Instead I said, “It’s actually easier to talk to people when you’re traveling solo.” Case in point: me talking to him at that particular moment. If I had company and was preoccupied with their presence, our exchange would probably not go past the rudimentary customer-bartender transaction.
But I totally get this bartender, and the young actress who recently equated solo traveling to a sad emoji venture. It can be lonely roaming around anywhere just by yourself. It sucks when you’re in a Chinese restaurant, have the impulse to over order, and there’s no one to share your bowl of fried rice with. It can be a downer discovering a theme park ride and the first thing that comes to mind is your husband or son who would be so totally into it. It can be sad when it’s picture time and there’s no one else to take the snap but you.
Well, there’s those and there’s this: Solo travel gives you the kind of freedom you normally don’t get to enjoy when traveling with friends and family. The freedom to start the day only when you’re ready, the liberty to choose where to go and what to eat, the permission to get lost and make mistakes without the worry of inconveniencing anyone but yourself.
Also read: The Budget-Friendly Tripods To Bring On Your Next Solo Travel
The rewards of solo travel
Company may provide the feeling of safety in unfamiliar territory but I find people are often kinder to lone travelers. In Seoul, I met a wonderful ajumma who patiently walked me all the way to Ihwa Mural Village, which I was having a hard time finding. She was headed towards the opposite direction when I bumped into her but she decided to just lead me there herself knowing I don’t speak her language. I gamely followed her, huffing and puffing and laughing with her all the way to the village like we were sharing a private joke.
A kind of similar incident would happen in a recent trip, when a nice Hong Kong lady offered to help place my order at a popular restaurant lauded for their great goose but notorious for their not-so-friendly service.
Evil and danger lurk in different corners in different parts of the world but I would like to believe so does goodness.
I enjoy spending as much time as I can in bookshops and supermarkets when abroad. Being alone allows me to do this, without a teenage boy (my son) and a grownup man (my husband) following me around with bored looks on their faces while I sift through aisles for the latest travel literature or the best kaya spread bottle to bring home. “Bakit?” a Filipina asked me in Hong Kong, with a puzzled expression on her face after I told her I was by myself and left my mag-ama in the PH for a bit of solo R&R. I felt a tinge of guilt, of course, having all the fun without my boys. But solo travel, I remind yours truly, is a gift you give to yourself. And like all gifts to self it comes with a pinch of guilt. But trust me that it goes away.
Solo travel will make you see the world through your own eyes
Bouncing alone out of your comfort zone can be exhilarating and empowering. You discover so many things about yourself, like your untapped people skills, like how working navigation apps can come naturally to you. You get to listen to your own voice and sound off your own thoughts. You see things only through your own eyes and possibly even encounter something you’ve seen before—a hidden garden, an off-the-beaten-path dive bar—and see it like you’re seeing it for the first time, unobstructed by the riot of company.
There’s just something about finding yourself alone in unfamiliar environments that make you more present, therefore more open to look a stranger in the eye and strike a conversation. When you're as much a stranger to your surroundings as your surroundings are to you, it gives you this sense of possibilities, like you can be someone else or maybe the self you’ve always thought yourself to be. You get hyper-aware of everything and everyone around you, partly to protect yourself from any possible harm, and partly because you don’t want to miss a cute cafe a good sale or an interesting character.
Traveling may have always been likened to therapy, but one gets a leveled-up therapy session with solitary travel. Instead of closing your doors to the world as you open yourself up to one stranger—your therapist—you open yourself to the world with the prospect of many more conversations with many different strangers, who over coffee, beer, shared tables, boat rides or flight delays may give you a new perspective on life. That’s the reason Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love has been sanctified by many solo travelers. It’s a testament to how the experience can bring about a similar kind of change and healing we all seek.
This is also why it’s been written many times that everyone must try to travel solo even once. I understand the apprehension. It takes courage, and maybe a little bit more money, to go off into the world on your own. But what beautiful rewards await once you finally face your fears.—Cristina Gomez-Verano
Cristina Gomez-Verano is an ex-travel show writer, entrepreneur, and mother of one.
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