Growing Number of Filipinas Prefer Live-In Over Marriage

(SPOT.ph) When Nadine Lustre was asked if she was living together with her then-boyfriend James Reid, the actress famously replied, "I mean, if that was true, so what? It's normal na eh. Come on, guys, it's 2017!" Nearly a decade later, her statement still rings true—perhaps now more than ever.

The 2022 National Demographic and Health Survey revealed a significant rise in cohabitation among Filipinas aged 15 to 49, from 5% in 1993 to 19% in 2022. Similarly, the 2021 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study found that approximately 12% of the 20 million 15- to 24-year-olds are currently living together without getting married.

That doesn’t mean marriage is entirely out of the picture for these couples. According to the Commission on Population and Development (CPD), many of them still continue to see marriage as the end goal, but the path to getting there is no longer as straightforward as it once was.

The CPD cited the study “Unearthing Perspectives in Nuptiality and Cohabitation: A Critical Discourse Analysis of Narratives of Women Aged 20-29 in Selected Urban and Rural Areas in the Philippines” to explain the various factors that contribute to this shift.

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Why are more Filipinas choosing a live-in arrangement?

According to the study, many couples now view cohabitation as a natural progression in the relationship, allowing them to deepen their commitment to one another while waiting for the right moment to tie the knot.

“Men showed that they felt that cohabitation serves as the next stage in the relationship, while women appreciate the romantic component of cohabitation during the actual setup,” the CPD said. In fact, it noted more and more parents are becoming supportive of this practice, encouraging children to live together first before rushing into marriage.

It’s mostly for practical reasons, too. Cohabitation lets couples split rent, bills, and daily expenses, which is especially helpful in cases of child-rearing in unplanned pregnancies. However, CPD noted, “cohabitation also results in more pregnancies and children.”

Others hesitate due to family trauma or past bad relationships, so cohabitation lets them test the waters without the finality of marriage. Social media hasn’t helped, either, as it exposes the complicated realities of marriage, making some second-guess whether they even want to take that step.

“For women who have had negative relationship experiences in the past, they are no longer interested in marriage, or they would only be interested in marrying when they are sure that the partner is fit for them and that they have gotten to know the partner. Cohabitation thus becomes an opportunity to get to know the partner in the household,” the CPD said.

Then there's the financial side of things—weddings are simply more expensive. Not to mention the tedious legal paperwork that comes with getting married.

In light of these, the CPD is pushing for policies that “can strengthen the families regardless of the marital status of couples,” like offering better reproductive health services, legal protections for women and children in live-in setups, and accessible social programs for couples who might not have the same legal benefits as married ones.

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