10 Mind-Boggling Dating Slang Terms, Translated
Have you ever been glamboozled before? Or been given the slow fade?
(SPOT.ph) “Ano na, 2020 na,” as the Nadine Lustre, the President of the Philippines, said in a totally non-specific situation recently. And, indeed, it is 2020—an entirely new decade of slang, memes, and cultural revolutions are headed our way and as is the case with all the thirsty generations that came before (and produced) us, the world of dating is at the top of the list of things continuously being reinvented. So with the day of hearts fast approaching, we offer you a chance to brush up on the lingo. We can’t teach you how to slide into someone’s DMs, but we can round up a couple of words that could come in handy.
Here are 10 dating terms the kids are using these days, translated:
Define the Relationship (DTR)
You know it’s serious when one, or both, (or more than two) of you asks to “define the relationship.” It’s usually what follows the scary, heart-stopping question of “So, ano tayo?” and is kind of a leveled-up version of the 2010’s term “MU” (that’s Mutual Understanding for you confused folks) but with added clear, defined, know-what-to-expect labels—whatever kind you and your S.O. agree on. This term helps when you’ve been going out for a while, but aren’t exactly sure how to introduce this person to your friends just yet.
So if you are yet to DTR, then you’re probably just thinging with the person/s. We know that sentence might have caused a bit of a seizure, but bear with us. Thinging refers to the act of having an undefined, well, thing with someone—sometimes to the point of having a pseudo-relationship (read: basically a relationship but without the label or the commitment). Usually used to define something that’s more than just a fling but not quite dating.
By this time, the term “ghosting” is definitely on your radar, but have you heard of breadcrumbing? While someone who ghosts you cuts you off out of nowhere, breadcrumbing is the act of leaving just enough bits and pieces to keep you interested. An example of these “crumbs” could include constantly chatting you up online to say “let’s meet up” but never actually setting a time and place. It could be done with the cruel intention of keeping you on the bench until they have real time for you. Ouch. The paasa has to stop, guys.
Down to Fu—uh, Fornicate (DTF)
Who are we kidding? You all know it stands for Down to F*ck (and please don’t besmear the name of a dim sum restaurant here, either). In the world of Tinder, Bumble, and what-have-you, acronyms like this help keep things fast and clear. DTF basically means you’re there to hook up for fun but not there for all the emotional investment and commitment the typical relationship needs. Think of this as the term to use when you’re looking for a good ol’ FUBU—we’re not explaining that last one.
This act is similar to breadcrumbing in that the person leads you on with just enough messages and attention, but this time they have every intention of eventually disappearing from your life. It’s a sort of kinder alternative to ghosting, but it’s just as spineless, TBH.
This is what you call somebody who comes back from the dead—in the dating world, that is. After promptly ghosting you, this person has the gall to suddenly show up in your notifs or texts, making up some lame excuse for their absence and continuing on as if they didn’t cause any emotional trauma. And much like an actual zombie in a hypothetical situation, we believe it’s best to banish them back to the underworld where they belong—figuratively speaking.
We’ll stop you right there in case you’re picturing half a bedside table. Contrary to the popular pun, a half-night stand is exactly what it says it is: a one-night stand except you head on out right after the deed. Not only is this type of hook-up more applicable in the Metro—where most people are expected home at some point of the night (or early morning, at the very least)—it also decreases the chances of an awkward morning and the dreaded walk of shame.
The same way the moon orbits the Earth but never actually touches down, someone orbiting you will make sure you see them but not have the guts to make the first move. They’ll watch your IG stories, like all your Facebook posts, heart your tweets, but they definitely won’t chat you up first. Up to you if you think it’s worth sliding into their DMs, but if not, then maybe you can just wait it out until they either move on or finally gather the strength to talk to you.
All you conservative titas and titos may want to sit down for this new word. There is officially a word for a threesome—and not just in terms of three people having sex, but an actual full-blown relationship where they complete each other in all the ways your basic, traditional, hetero couples are expected to. A throuple follows the literal meaning of a ménage à trois—household of three—and is used to call three people in a wholesome and committed relationship.
Nope, this isn’t doggo speak—which is an entirely different branch of lingo that’s probably even harder to explain. Being glamboozled is when you’ve gotten glammed up and ready for a big date, only to receive a last-minute message cancelling your meet-up. Just think about it: You’ve spent the past hour perfecting your winged eyeliner when your date suddenly asks to reschedule or just flat out cancels. Who wouldn’t feel absolutely glamboozled?