"Breakup Insurance" Exists...Just in Case You'd Need It

You know, just in case something happens right on Valentine's Day.

(SPOT.ph) You know how some people say that Valentine's Day is just a scam for companies to sell you more stuff? Yeah, well, if that's true, at least we get cool deals and all kinds of commercials and ads around this time of year! (Probably not the main takeaway, though). And it looks like one ad has just taken the throne for the realest one yet this hearts' day: A Valentine's Breakup Insurance offer from Danes Cheese

Valentine's Breakup Insurance
PHOTO BY Facebook / Danes Cheese

Valentine's Breakup Insurance

Yup, it's exactly what it sounds like. If you have an S.O., all you have to do is sign up for their offer—with the proper requirements—and if, we're saying a big "if" here, they break up with you on Valentine's Day, it will be up to the brand to play jowa. "Kaming bahala maging sweet sa'yo," so they said. TBH, we think a cheese brand would know a thing or two about being cheesy—exactly what you would need in case the day of hearts becomes the day of heartbreaks.


If you do sign up for the insurance and on the off-chance you get zumped (Read: A video-call breakup, which is a thing now!), you may get a broken heart—but you also get flowers, ice cream, Danesaymada, and an online date with a "Danes certified hottie "na mas pogi or mas maganda sa nang-break sa'yo." Their words, not ours! Check out how to sign up below, and don't forget parental approval: 

Posted by Danes Cheese on Wednesday, February 10, 2021

You might remember a few months back when Danes hit us with a trippy masterclass in gags via a series of commercials featuring a humanoid cheese slice with bacon bits. Does "Bacon 'yan" ring a bell? You know it does. The hilarously cheeky offer comes from the same people responsible for recent crazy commercials that also went crazy viral: GIGIL.

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So while their commercials are known for being totally wack and totally unbelievable, this breakup insurance is the real deal—though we certainly hope you never have any reason to claim the benefits. 

Main image from Shutterstock.

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