Smackdown: Sex/Life vs. 365 Days

Look, we get "steamy" works but these titles just aren't it, folks.

sex/life vs 365 days
PHOTO BY Netflix / Sex/Life, Next Film / 365 Days ILLUSTRATION War Espejo

(SPOT.ph) Sex sells. This fact-of-life is right up there with "One and one make two"—but so is "Too much of a good thing." Take Netflix's latest ultra-steamy title  for example. Sex/Life dropped on June 25 and promptly landed on the top spot of the trending list, for some godforsaken reason. We're kidding, we know exactly why. If you don't want to tax your brain cells by actually streaming the series, we lay why down below. And because having two when you really should just have one seems to be a theme here—spoiler alert—we're comparing it to that other controversial R-Rated title up on Netflix: 365 Days. Oh, you know it.

Also read:
10 Steamy Netflix Titles You Really Shouldn't Be Streaming
PSA: Erik Matti's New Film Is Out and It's a Real Steamy One
10 Notable Movies We Almost Didn't See Because of the MTRCB

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Sex/Life or 365 Days? Which steamy title is worth burning your retinas for:

The Plot (Because There Actually Is a Plot, Kind Of)

Sex/Life follows Billie Connelly (Sarah Shahi), currently the suburban stay-at-home mom we all secretly wish we were (Read: has two super cute kids, a rich, hunky husband, and mostly spends her days lounging around their massive yet somehow always-clean home in pretty house gowns). However, she begins to doubt all of that when she crosses paths with an old flame from her young and wild days—which was somehow around the same time she became a Columbia University psychology PhD candidate, mind you.

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Cue the totally difficult choice of which incredibly hot, upperclass white guy to go for, all wrapped up in kitschy B-movie feels—except it goes on for an entire eight, long episodes. Yup, a second season hangs in the air, folks. Unsurprisingly, this series was inspired by a book entitled 44 Chapters About 4 Men by BB Easton. We totally blame Fifty Shades for this. (The GoodReads reviews for Easton's books are insanely entertaining, BTW).

In case you somehow escaped the trainwreck that was 365 Days (lucky you), here's the gist. Massimo (Michele Morrone) is a mafia leader whose idea of courtship revolves around abducting a girl, the feisty-without-purpose Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka), and then giving her 365 days to fall in love with him. Proof we never really did leave the Dark Ages.

The Polish movie was inspired by a book as well, written by Blanka Lipinska. Said book happens to be a trilogy—which therefore means a sequel is a possibility. How they're going to pick things back up after that ending is beyond us.

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Winner: In terms of what's better? Can't say. In terms of what's worse? Well.

Problematic Levels

If the plots weren't enough of a red flag for you, then we don't know what to tell you. Sex/Life has been accused of glorifying cheating, and as if that wasn't bad enough, the massive plot holes and ridiculous character development are migraine-inducing. Billie is literally a psychologist who studied at Columbia University. How does this happen? Aren't we past this? 

Speaking of migraine-inducing plots, we need to talk about 365 Days. Sexual abuse, manipulation, human trafficking, murder, terrible portrayals of BDSM, the list goes on and on. On second thought, let's not talk about 365 Days

Winner: They're both winners in their own strange ways.

The "Plot" You Came For

Both titles have been criticized for basically being softcore porn—and not even the good kind—dressed up in a relatively bigger production budget. And just like porn, both titles are so in-your-face about it, it crosses right over from steamy to funny; it jumps, dives, canonballs, slam dunks over the fence into ridiculousness. Which honestly, entertainment-value wise, is still kind of worth it—it just wasn't the goal. 

There are major scenes that people have endlessly meme-d from 365 Days and we're sure Sex/Life is next in line. You can just wait for those GIFs if you'd rather not waste your precious streaming time. 

Winner: Yeah, neither works for us. Unless making us cringe and laugh at the same time really was the goal.

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Grand Champion: Not the viewers, that's for sure. There's really nothing to crown either title for, on either side of the spectrum. But if you're looking for something steamy worth an actual investment, just note that Glorious (2018)—as in that May-December flick with Angel Aquino and Tony Labrusca—lands on Netflix on July 17. Or why not just head back to Bridgerton for the nth rewatch, really?

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