The Bea-Dominic Split: Lessons on How Not to Cancel a Wedding

(SPOT.ph) A celebrity breakup is the last thing a gasoline company should care about, but yesterday, Cleanfuel released a statement that had to do with one. The issue involves Dominic Roque, whose broken engagement with Bea Alonzo has spawned a multiverse of backstories—all of them unverified, all of them vicious. The version in question claims Dominic was gifted a gasoline station, allegedly by former Quezon City congressman Bong Suntay. Dapitan Mayor Bullet Jalosjos was also dragged into the mess, supposedly giving the actor a condo unit, as another “sugar daddy”. 

All those stories remain just that: stories. Both politicians have denied the accusations, and Roque has issued an official statement through his lawyers, condemning the allegations.

Still, malicious stories like these, even when denied, have the power to destroy people, and are especially dangerous for those whose careers depend on their image.

The Bea-Dominic split: coulda, woulda, shoulda 

That’s why since Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling”, celebrities from all over the world have been crafting split declarations in style—many of them with the help of high-profile lawyers like Laura Wasser and Neal Hersh, to minimize negative publicity. In a Vanity Fair article, the two lawyers talked about keeping meetings “as covert as possible,” by “speaking to their clients by phone, arranging for them to park underneath their offices, or meeting them at a private location such as the client’s or lawyer’s house.” Evading the paparazzi helps keep celebrity divorces secret prior to the official announcement. 

For Alonzo and Roque, what ultimately preempted—and ruined—the couple’s announcement was the speculation that came from everywhere. 

First, Alonzo’s road manager Nina Ferrer posted something about a “manipulative sadboi”, which was shared by Alonzo’s makeup artist Ting Duque, putting Roque in bad light by virtue of their association with the couple, even if there was no direct mention of his name.

Then, showbiz veterans Ogie Diaz and Cristy Fermin made tongues wag with their theories—unverified by the actors themselves but delivered with confidence nonetheless.

Ultimately, Boy Abunda’s televised confirmation drove the final nail in the coffin: a confirmation so convincing (“As we talk today, yes, hiwalay po si Dominic at si Bea.”) which came ahead of the couple’s official announcement, based on info from “good sources”. 

The news broke traditional ethical rules of journalism to fact-check and not use anonymous sources (unless absolutely necessary). But of course, showbiz news might not exist without anonymous sources: they are the lifeblood of many entertainment reporters. And many journalists, not only in this beat but across the industry, are eager to run their exclusives, never mind if they exploit people for their personal gain. 

When the ex-lovers made it official on Instagram, shade was inevitable. “We wanted to have more time to carefully deliberate and pray about [ending our engagement], but there have been many speculations, questions, and insults,” the couple wrote. “Unfortunately, some even confirmed our breakup without our consent, and some created ridiculous stories that had no basis and were utterly false.”

How to cancel a wedding, with dignity intact 

Keeping a breakup private is the most dignified way for A-listers—a.k.a. people no stranger to rumors—to weather a canceled wedding. This would include asking people around them to stop themselves from talking, even sharing cryptic posts, which, though vague, add fuel (no relation to Cleanfuel) to the fire.

Because now, thanks to outsiders, not only are Alonzo and Roque burdened by the pain of heartbreak, they too have to go through the ordeal of clearing up their and other people’s names. 

Yet at the same time, refusing to speak for oneself is also a communication strategy. Using the good cop, bad cop negotiation technique, one negotiator aims to win a concession by acting in a non-threatening manner, while a partner adopts the  opposite. Shirley Kuan, Alonzo’s talent manager, took on the role of bad cop in an interview with Pep.ph last year when she hurled her rebuttals against 1521 producers who accused her ward of being difficult to work with. By not saying anything, Alonzo kept her image pristine—thereby winning the hearts of the public all while keeping silent.

But unlike production woes, relationship matters are best discussed by the people involved in the relationship, not those adjacent to them. 

It is a strange situation where cinema is better than real life. In their own movies, Alonzo and Roque may enjoy the exclusivity of being the main characters. But in the real world where people have a hard time shutting their mouths, extras in their orbit assume they are the stars.

Pola is an editor, journalist and communication consultant who works with organizations like UN Women. She posts about writing, communication and media literacy on Instagram as @MissChiefEditor.