Isabel Santos on Doubting Herself and Eventually Finding a Purpose in Art

(SPOT.ph) Through the years, visual artist Isabel Santos has donned different hairstyles and hair colors— from pixie to bob and from black to blonde. Perhaps not surprisingly, the same prominent colors show up in the deconstructed and comics-like illustrations of women in her work, their faces drawn apart from their voluminous hairstyles. When asked if there's a connection between her personal style and her subjects who look like they're straight out of a much earlier time, she gives a very candid response. 

“I don’t know how to connect those things!” she replies. “This is actually the first time someone asked me this. [That’s a] good question. I don't know why I change my haircut and color so many times. Siguro experimental ako not just in my art pero also in myself. Parang naga-gravitate [ako] towards what I feel na gusto ko, then I try it on myself.”

By not forcing ideas to always connect and make sense, Santos allows things to take their own natural course, waiting for moments to unfold before her. This thinking is evident even in the beginnings of her now decade-old artistic practice.

Isabel Santos on experiencing genuine enjoyment in art without being self-critical

Born into a family of artists, 33-year-old Santos is the youngest among the kids of accomplished painters Soler and Mona. Her brother, Luis Antonio, and sister, Carina, are practicing artists, too. Soler is the founder of West Gallery and the son of celebrated painter, cartoonist and illustrator Mauro “Malang” Santos. One could say the young Santos' fascination with comics is what she shares in common with her late grandfather. 

And her earliest vivid memory involving art is making a painting  and giving it to her grandfather as a gift. “I wrapped it and actually opened it for him because I was so excited,” Santos says. “In short, gandang-ganda ako sa work ko. I think that stuck [with] me because I can't believe the confidence I had at that age. It inspires me to be less critical of my work."

Her family has been part of her growth as an artist since deciding to become one in 2013. She was with them when she discovered a real connection and apprecation for art while in a European trip. She enjoyed being in the museums and galleries a lot. And while looking at what's on display, "Naisip ko maybe I can do this," she recalls.  

“[But] once it became my job, I became more critical. In an ideal world, you just want to make art for yourself. But then when you make it available for the public merong considerations and doubts."

From time to time, she seeks the opinion of others, which eventually leads her to lose confidence in herself. But amidst the hesitations, there were pats on the back along the way.

In 2016, she participated in the Art Students League of New York where she was exposed to other cultures and practices of fellow artists in residency. She explored the city that inspired American painter Edward Hopper. Her perseverance paid off in 2020 when she achieved the feat of winning Uniqlo’s annual UT (Uniqlo T-shirt) Grand Prix competition, the apparel brand's collaboration with The Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York. Her favorite part about winning was the fact that one of the jurors was American conceptual artist Lawrence Weiner, a personal favorite. “[At least] Before he died [in 2021], he had an idea that I exist.”

Despite no longer being a newbie, Santos remains open to learning more. “I haven’t had the chance to learn the technique a lot [in art]. I’m very open to people’s advice and I ask people.” But she's always the final judge. “When I look back at my work, I think I still like it,” she says.

Layering and repetition as integral processes in her practice

“Repeating things sometimes tricks the mind.”

Santos is talking about her method which employs repetition, whether in actual drawing or responding to the same ideas. “I used to write the word ‘happy’ so much that I doubted that that word was ‘happy’. Seeing it over and over again makes you look at the same thing with new perspectives,” she says.

Her first solo show Step 1, Step 2 in 2015, and a more recent show, Over and Over and Over and, in 2021—although produced in different periods and from different personal motivations—reiterate the repetitive method and construction of images she had in mind.  

For Santos, the layering she does in her works is a conscious reminder that she doesn't always have to be so hard on herself in artmaking. “While layering, nafe-flesh out din [ang ideas]. I guess it’s me being kinder to myself and my mistakes. Maybe that’s like saying na you can try because you can also cover up [the mistakes]. So I guess the act of layering is my safety net.”

Santos earned a degree in European Studies from the Ateneo de Manila University, and although she never got to apply it in her career, it did influence her to learn German. She used to write some text on her paintings in German. She says these texts are concealed or obscured beneath layers of paint to hint at possible meanings and not to impose anything on the viewers of her work.

“Feeling ko it adds more depth sa color. Maybe I don’t like color na stark lang. Gusto ko may other textures. Maybe I associate it with being blank—‘or there is void’—pag walang layers sa ilalim."

She applies this kind of layering in her eight-foot by ten-foot painting that is part of the Special Projects in this year’s edition of ALT Philippines. Her work, which according to her “has something to do with nature" and evokes the relaxing energy of being near nature, is primarily in greens and blues, representing trees, islands, and the ocean. Her work for ALT is similar in scale but in total contrast to her 2022 show in Finale Art File which had a gloomy mood because of her deliberate use of monochrome. 

In her 2017 solo Should I Remember You?, the artist contemplated her value as an artist. “Do I want to be remembered or hindi? Okay ba ‘yun or hindi? If you get remembered, so what?” were just some of the questions she asked herself. “When I go to museums, I am overwhelmed by the great artists that I have no idea who they are. It makes me feel that the probability that I would be remembered is low. Like ‘yung lolo ko, successful siya dito pero gusto ba niya?”

When asked if the same questions burden her until now, she answers: “I guess ngayon mas more on [having a] purpose [ang concerns ko]. Di naman to be remembered pero sana mas magka-opportunity ako.” 

All her recollections of days with her grandfather seem like a way to channel her young, confident self who created art without second guessing anything. "It was refreshing that whatever idea I have, I just put it [out] there. There were no doubts,” she recalls. But she's also gaining back her confidence. “Tinanggal ko na ‘yung pressure. I think dapat mag-concentrate ako sa what’s happening within me para mas real ‘yung lumabas.” 

ALT Philippines 2024 is from February 21 to 25 at SMX Hall A, Mall of Asia Complex, Pasay City.

Also read: At Home with Juan Alcazaren, the Artist Who Gives New Life to Everyday Things