Please Text Before Calling, It's the Sensitive and Polite Thing to Do

(SPOT.ph) Outside work hours, corporate communications professional Leif Sykioco filters messages that need a prompt reply and calls to take. It's a sanity hack of sorts when instant messaging and video calls destroy the concept of quiet time.

Sykioco, like many other millennials and Gen Zs bombarded with phone calls, emails, chats, and MS Teams meetings throughout their work hours, have adopted unwritten rules for communicating in the digital age such as "text before you call", and never starting and leaving a communication hanging with just "hi".

"I don't think it's rude when people don't text you before they call but I think of it this way - hindi ka naman papasok lang basta basta sa room, diba? Texting is like knocking," the 26-year-old said.

"I always say na if it's not a matter of life and death, it can wait. Learn how to prioritize your headspace when it comes to talking with people," they added.

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Why you should text first before calling

While there are no standard rules for communicating in the digital age, texting first before calling shows sensitivity to other people according to Dr. Sheila Viesca, a communication and etiquette coach.

"Everyone is going through something and nowadays, almost everyone is busy multitasking so texting before calling shows sensitivity and respect to other people, their time, and activities," Viesca told SPOT.ph.

Ideally, in the professional setting, Viesca advises sending an e-mail or text message first addressing the person by name and informing them of your purpose for reaching out. If a phone call needs to be made to elaborate on the purpose of communication, ask for a convenient time to do so.

Whether it's texting first before calling or timing the sending of an e-mail, Viesca advises practicing sensibility in all communication practices--digital or face-to-face--to keep healthy professional, and personal relationships.

"These unwritten rules for calling or texting evolve along with our lifestyle and culture so it's best to practice sensibility and consider how your actions would make the other party feel. Think first before you act," she said.

When is it okay to just call?

Digital communication etiquette is not written in stone since technology keeps on evolving which means practices do too. 

While it is generally advised to text first before you call, there are situations when you could break this unwritten rule. Here are as follows:

• Emergency situations that require immediate attention
• Situations that require urgent action
• Breaking personal and tragic news to someone

For some, calling out of the blue is also welcome with a specific group of people such as close friends or select family members.

Sykioco, for example, has a list of people that they exempt from the "text before you call" rule: family members, close friends, and their go-to Lazada delivery guy.

Also read: The SPOT.ph Guide to Smartphones

Can I tell people off when they don't text before they call?

Receiving a phone call from someone out of the blue may seem demanding or pushy and one might think: Can I tell them off?

In handling unwelcome phone calls or other means of communication, Viesca advises taking the high road and informing the other party politely of your preferred means of communication.

"The key is politeness. Politeness can go a long way in relationships, especially in the professional setting. Inform them politely of your available time for phone calls or messages or whatever it is that requires correspondence," she said.

For younger millennials and Gen Zs, Viesca also advises being considerate of the older generation, noting that people grew up knowing different communication etiquette.

For example, while Christmas and birthday greetings nowadays are preferred to be done and received by millennials and Gen Zs via social media, their Gen X parents and Baby Boomer grandparents might not feel the same way and could prefer the "human touch" of a phone call.

"Be considerate also of the differences in age and try to be the bigger person. Not everyone can easily adapt to new etiquette when it comes to communicating with the use of technology," she said.

Also read: Why Gen X Parents Flourish While Their Gen Z Kids Struggle in the New Normal